Long Vacation....

Final renovation!

2011-02-27T12:55:00.011+08:00

I realized that I had not post up any pictures of my finished home.

Living room

Dining room

Dining room with the lights switched on

Kitchen

Bedroom

Vanity

Divider between the bedroom & vanity area

Study room

The entertainment area in the study room. Look at the messy pile of wires, consoles, etc.

Specially to my HUBBY!!!

2010-12-06T09:55:00.003+08:00

Thank you Hubby for taking care of the house renovation matter when I'm busy at work. He has dedicated to take care of the contractors, vendors, etc to make our house possible. He make efforts to drop by the house daily to look at the progress of the house. Although he can be quite annoying at times, but do appreciate his effort to make our renovation experience less painful. LOVE YOU!!!!!

I'm sorry that I can be pain in the ass sometime, and I know you are irritate by my less concern about the house and not appreciated for your contribution. But I know, just that I'm not expressive to show that I really thank you for taking care of everything. So I would like to dedicate this page to you.

THANK YOU HUBBY!!!
for making our house possible!!!!

95% completed as of 1 Dec!!

2010-12-02T20:15:00.007+08:00

Finally it's finish, as of 1 Dec!!! They will hand over the house officially tomorrow or Saturday.

My surveillance camera lights are setup.

The vanity lights are ready.
The switch on the headboard.

The cloth light!!!! It suppose to give the bedroom a soft look. But I'm too sure of the DUST!!!

The cooker and hob is installed.

Nice!~~ I wanted those hard glass surface for the cooker, easy to clean. But it didn't have white colour, so we go for the stainless steel.

Fast change!!

2010-11-30T20:37:00.006+08:00

The change has been done in just ONE day!!!! The ID rushed down on Sunday to take a look at the cabinet and the very next day they alter the dish drainer!!! *clap clap*

The sofa seat beside the shoe cabinet

Its new!!!

70% completed

2010-11-28T09:43:00.016+08:00

Week 4 and the place is 70% completed for a warm , minimalist interior design. It's starting to take shape and the ID & contractor have been trying their best to meet the dateline. Overall, very satisfy with the ID, will recommend to friends who are looking for an ID.

The shoe cabinet behind the door.

The dining area.

I love this light the minute I step into my ID office. Yes, I make my ID sell this light in his office to me. wahhahah. He has three, its okay to give me one of it.

The only complain I have now is the kitchen cabinet. The dish drainer is way too low!!! It is 10" more than its suppose to be. What am I suppose to put there once the table top is up, not even a toaster fit under it. We finally manage to get the ID to alter it, but I guess it will take a bit more time as they need to dismantle everything and send back to the workshop. Hope they can rush back in time.

We add a additional pull-out table top to give us more cooking space.

They use a hinge door to solve the corner door problem. But I have some issue with this area, what can I store there? It's going to be the damp place. *think*

The common toilet

The Master bedroom toilet.

The wardrobe from Closet design. Looking good.

My hidden headboard drawers to minimize the space to have side tables. But luck we didn't construct the side tables, there is hardly any walking space once the bed frame seats in.

The vanity in the bedroom.

We modify the design after seeing SJ's friend having the same vanity design. We add in storage space behind the mirror so that we can store our toothbrushes, etc.

The divider. I think a make a good decision to change from a solid wall to this divider.

The tv console feature wall at night. The laminate looks "cheap" in this lighting.

The tv console in daylight.

The study room and its grey walls make it a cozy place to work and relax.

Trial makeup for the wedding

2010-11-23T21:59:00.002+08:00

Day 2 of week 4 - Painting

2010-11-23T21:19:00.006+08:00

Day 2 of week 4 and they have start painting the base colour of the house.

A&D sure enforce everyone not to dirty the house.

Warm and day light mixture. Not too sure is it correct. But I think it will give us a flexibility to change the mood for the living room from bright to a warm and cozy feeling if we want to.

My favourite light, now currently wrap in paper.

The base colour - lily white?

Day 1 of week 4

2010-11-22T21:48:00.006+08:00

The start of week 4 and the ID had did some progress. The classic doors for all room are up and most of the lighting too. For the first time, the floors are all lifted off from the cupboard that has been protecting them from the plastering.

SJ felt that the living room fan & light is abit cheapo looking and very dim. The spot light looks above the door looks like a security camera...

Week 3 of renovation

2010-11-21T21:40:00.012+08:00

Week 3 and the progress is abit slow because they have to wait for the plastering to settle. The whole house is plasted and some of the electricity wiring are up.

The new gate is up

The lights are up in the spare room & study room.

I realize that this is a very common light. My friend, Gabriel has it in his home too!!

We get the ID to conceal the ugly aircon area in the MB room.

The partition for the wardrobe is up.

The kitchen and dinning area partition is up too!

After two weeks, The flooring are complete!!

2010-11-15T09:00:00.015+08:00

The flooring are complete after two week of renovation (28 Oct - 14 Nov) . Its all cover up with cupboard so that they can start their plastering and painting for this week 3.

Master bedroom toilet - small and miserable.
A close-up look of the tiles in all the toilet. Very spa like, I love it.
The view from the masterbed room door
The view from the door of spare room, future children room
View from the door of the store room.
View from the door of the study room.
View from the window area in the spare room.
View from the door of masterbed room to the living room
View from the kitchen to the living room.
Common toilet. Another small toilet.
The kitchen & dinning area. The dinning area is level to the living room and the drop is the kitchen area.
The kitchen area.

Our wedding card!

2010-11-11T09:12:00.004+08:00

Finally got the inserts from the printer yesterday and it looks beautiful. This weekend we have to stick the insert on the invitation cards.

The flooring..

2010-11-07T19:58:00.007+08:00

All the floorings are gone!!!!!

The living room floor is almost done.

The wall of the kitchen has completed its plastering.

The changes for the photos

2010-11-05T20:24:00.009+08:00

I was not happy with the black and white treatment to the photos in the pub. The pub is so beautifully lit and the colours are so rich and rustic. I make the photographer to restore back the colours. Now it looks so much better.

The photographer totally missed out this beautiful picture of us smiling so lovely.

The texture of the wall at duxton hill was lost in the b/w picture. The colour was fully restore back. But still, the treatment for the picture at the left is nota s nice as the one he did for the preview.

The photographer did such a nice composition of the cloud into the picture but he choose to hide it in a b/w photo. In the end the b/w cloud looks like patches on the photos. He only manages to restore one of the photo. The rest of the two photo he claim that its a composition of many layer and it will take a very long time to make it to colour. In other words, he did not save his work in different files and has flatten the layers!~!~! That's prehaps the reason why he claim he can't retouch away the lamp post!

I make the photographer to add in some stars and moon in the left picture. I felt that the moon should be brighter and bigger and I can't see the stars... but I felt is much better in this composition.

The wedding photo layout is Ready!~!

2010-11-01T20:46:00.023+08:00

I totally dislike the pictures below. I look like smelling my armpit. The left picture layout looks out of place.

I'm greatly disturb by the feather border. It looks like the photographer has reach his limit while doing this layout and he wanted to squeeze the two pictures into it.

Love the smile in SJ but I'm so profile that it is a waste. And again a feather border!~!~ *disturb* The photographer is tired again....

Personally, I feel that the picture below should not be mirrored. A full spread and a word beside it should bring out the beauty of it

I love the moment....

2010-09-28T00:27:00.007+08:00

I love the moment when we first try to kiss in front the camera...

When you look at me from the top...

when we have a break...

When you touch my nose....

When I touch your lips...

when we see eye to eye...

it feels like spinning...

building our love ....

Painting our love life on the wall....

I love the moment when you propose to me...

and every time you whisper in my ear!

Photo shoot - 13 sept 2010

2010-09-14T21:12:00.006+08:00

We had our wedding shoot on 13 sept 2010 and had a lot of fun. I feel like a celebrity when people on the buses, streets & cars wave to me. But it's very difficult for me to be feminine and kiss in front of so many people. Kekekek We went to No5 emerald Hill, City hall, Duxton Hill & Ann Siang Hill for our shoot. These places are very memorable to me as they are my favourite filming spot in Singapore.

Here is the sneak previous of the photo shoot:

1. Funny shot taken in Duxton Hill

2. Taken in Duxton Hill - I personally feel that we look stupid in there.

This is taken from my favourite alley at duxton hill. We did many fighting scenes in here. I din't notice the walls are so rustic. Nice!

3. Taken in Ann Siang Hill Park- Beautiful skyline at the background.4. Taken at the City Hall, and it seems to be the photographer's signature - "The butterfly move". From this size, It look like I'm smelling my arm pit. wahahahhaha

A peep at the completed gown before the photshoot

2010-09-11T21:08:00.006+08:00

The gowns are ready for Monday photo shoot, so excited!!!

The wedding gown!

And my black evening gown.

My Evening gown

2010-08-25T11:05:00.004+08:00

My 2nd choice but due to budget constraints, I will have to go with this design, in BLACK!!! WoooHooooo. It will sure make the crystal stands up and sparkle in the light.

This gown is my 1st choice and it look the best when I wear it. But it will cost me an additional $2.5k!!! Haiz..... why!!!!

The house renovation

2010-08-08T18:51:00.004+08:00

The house renovation design is ready!!! We are going for minimalism design for the whole house. It starts from the kitchen and it's going to be white! We section one part of the kitchen for our dining area.

For the living room, we did a tv console & feature wall. And that piece of wall will be painted yellow/orange to give the living a vibrant feeling. One wall will have a photo gallery where we have asked our wedding photographer to take some artistic picture of us. I don't want our wedding photo to be wasted and keep away. I wanted the pictures to be like artworks that we can use it like paintings for the house.
For our bedroom, because the toilet is so small, we have no choice but to have a vanity outside the toilet. Initially, it was a walk-in wadrobe but I felt that the wadrobe going to block the light & wind from the one only window in the bedroom. The concept for the bedroom is going to be cozy.
We have the designer to build a shoe cabinet behind door to make use of the area.

The gown & the shoes

2010-08-08T18:37:00.005+08:00

I have chosen my gown!!! It's going to be a ballgown with the wrap at the breast area. But guess what i have to top up an additional $1k!!!!! *heart pain*

And to go with the gown I had chosen, is this pair of shoes from Loe and Behold!!!. It's love at first sight. The exact design and the right comfort that I'm looking for. The owner of Loe & Behold, Belinda was very nice and professional too. It starts from asking a few questions about my height, SJ height, what kind of height for my heel am I looking for, etc on the phone. When I visited her, she showed me a few designs that I was looking at in her website. She is very friendly & patient. She gives very professional opinion too e.g. she would make us stand side by side to see whether the height of the heel will be too high beside SJ, etc. It was a pleasure shopping there and without hesitation, I bought the pair of shoe.

My gown designs!~~

2010-07-18T10:52:00.006+08:00

The Designs are here for my wedding gown!!!!

Design 1: A ballgown, with wrap at the bust area. The designer propose ice pink.

Design 2: A-line gown with wrap at the upper torso.

Design 3: A-line gown with mixture of folds at the bust area & wrap at the torso. The designer propose a long veil to go with the gown.
Design 4: Halter neck A-line gown. Designer propose a long train with organza attached to the lower waistline.

The jewellery is ready!~!~

2010-05-08T21:56:00.002+08:00

Love all of them and the Cartier look alike trinity ring. Good craftsmanship! And very thoughtful of Steve, to make two ring sizes for me to try them on. He was afraid that the one that he took measurement from my finger is abit too tight, so he make one size bigger just in case. And he was right when I tried it on. :o) will continue to let him make my jewellery in the future.

BV is the choice!

2010-04-11T11:18:00.006+08:00

We have decided it's going to be BV!~!~! for my wedding gown. After much hunt around the BS I still prefer the simple & plain gown design that BV provide. Giving me the shape & slender figure that won't eccentric my big hip, etc. Excited to meet up with the designer, hopefully next week for our first consultation.

We have also confirm the "Si Dian Jin". SJ decided to get "Si Dian Zhuan" but I'm abit worried whether it's too pricey to get diamonds & white gold for that amount of money. But nonetheless, diamonds are women's best friend!~!~

The design is rather plain... just diamond stubs set in Cartier's setting which said to be able to give the diamonds the spark. So its going to be a pair of diamond earring and necklace with the same setting.

As for the fourth item will be a Cartier trinity ring set in white gold, rose gold & gold. I'm loving this ring already, hope they do a good job out of it.

SJ pop the question!

2010-04-03T10:27:00.007+08:00

April 4, 2010 SJ pop the question, "Will you marry me?" at our first dating place Mount Faber. I remembered that time me, unice and SJ went up to jewel box with my rented car to chill there. He tried to show his "macho-ness" by piggy back me up the stairs to the peak. ke ke that was the time he still trying to court me. Now ask him to piggy back me he will say I'm too heavy. ke ke which I am lah over the years I have put on about 10kg wahhahahah after I took out my braces. wahahhahah.

Well he was very sweet but also nervous lah, because he very shy also. He quickly took out the ring in his bag and said the words and put it on my hand quickly. ke ke ke because he saw someone is coming. Very silly of him. Well he did not go down on his knee which what every girls would love to, but anyway he had been down on his knee asking the question without the ring before, so I think he shall be forgiven. ke ke ke.

Anyway, this is the ring that I have been talking about which will join together with the wedding band. It's another beautiful ring design by Gold & Silver.

He really make the diamond looks bigger than it actually is with the setting & lifting up the diamond to give it a better shine. I love this very much and satisfy with their workmanship. But it will be even better if the triangle sides can be heart shapes.

The photographer

2010-03-29T20:53:00.005+08:00

We have decided on our photographer and he is Chris Lim from Coffeestains photography. The photo that sold SJ away is his film noir photography and his vera wang's photo album.

Film noir photography

Vera Wang photo album

SJ has always dislike taking photo and for the first time he takes a liking for a photographer is very rare.

Sourcing for the photographer is also very hard for me because those BS's photo looks horrible and not up to my standard. By engaging a freelance photographer means the cost of the gown, etc will go up as well. But I cannot compromise my photo with ugly photos that I going to lock away in the cupboard for years. I always wanted to create a wall college in my house with pictures that both of us have visited together, like a memory wall. I will buy a unqiue photo frame from that country and frame up an iconic photo of the place with us in. And the wedding photos can definitely be part of that memory wall and wall paintings in the house. Looking forward to a space of ours soon... which I have no idea when... haiz... everytime I think of that makes me sad.... so many ideas for the house... but no idea when it will come true....

Anyway, we were also looking at another photographer which I personally love too and he is Ron Lee from eyedeas photography. I love his vibrant colours & intimate close-up of the couples in their casual wears.

The Ring

2010-03-28T00:42:00.004+08:00

This is our wedding bands which we got this jewelry maker - GOLD & SILVER to customize them. The one on the picture left is SJ's and on the right is mine. It looks funny with a hole in it but it meant to fit into my engagement ring nicely and both the rings will add up to the same thickness as SJ's ring. It is rather a signature design from this jewellery maker and I love it very much when I first saw it on their website.

At this moment I still can't blog about my engagement ring because "I'm not suppose to know" and he yet to pop the question. I find it rather funny as we seems to be doing some stuffs backward. He has to surprise me with the "question" but we are already busy preparing our wedding. Sometime I ask myself, he might as well just put it on can already, no need to be so "mysterious" about it. But no way!~! It's once a lifetime, and even thought I already said "yes". I would still like the magical moment of him with the ring in his hand saying "Will you marry me?" ke ke ke ke.

We have also asked them to design my "si dian jing" which I'm quite look forward to see the designs. I'm still thinking to get just gold, keep it, lock away and will never take out to wear or rather get a nicely designed gold/white gold accessories that I can occasionally wear them for function. We shall see what they can do with the budget given to them.

BV Vs TWP

2010-03-27T11:37:00.006+08:00

Who should I choose? BV or TWP? Both are equally nice. BV is well know for its simple & elegant gown that fits into the bride's body like a glove. They let me tried two of their gowns - and both of them make me look so slim & tall, plus they are not yet cut to fit my body. They have my favourite big bow and long train, and their use of swarovski crystal are tastefully done.

I think they are not into lace (one of my favourite too) after I spoke to Cedic, he started a whole conversation about how lace will sometime make one old, etc. Their simplicity wedding package cost at $3,980 but I know they sure have alot of hidden top-ups which I yet go into details with them:

Wedding Gown (MTM)
Evening Gown (MTM)
One pair of wedding gown gloves
Two set of veils & hair accessories
Two sets of jewelleris - crystallized by swarovski
Bridal make-up & hair styling trial, wedding day & night
Man suit & dress shirt (MTM)
Bridal bouquet for wedding day inclusive head flowers, corsages for groom & parents
Wedding car decoration inclusive ribbons for two bridesmaids' car
Complimentary off the rack cocktail dress, bridesmaid dress, kua or man's suit.

The other BS I looking at is TWP. It has the lace & long train that I love. I tried on them and I thought it will make me look old but they are rather sexy. Half translucent, see though lace. Nice!~~~ and sexy!~!~!

But their wedding package is slightly more expensive than BV that cost at $4,399. And that's not the end of the cost. If you want satin it will cost an additional $1k, if I want lace and depend on the type of lace it will cost an additional <$800 additional , etc. The cost just goes on and on.... and that makes me abit worried. Compared to BV at least I know I will still get a simple gown (that's their strength) with the cost that they are offering.

Well there is still time to look around and we are looking at one more which is FB. I think we shall keep to these three as too many will make me confuse. Already by looking at the bridal magazines already make me very confused and overwhelmed.

I was abit disappointed on that day also because Sj last min could not make it to the 1st appointment. Wish he was there with me so that he can give comments on which BS's gown is better. But I'm happy that Unice can accompany me despite that she has to prepare her examination. Unice's friend also tag along to see the gowns. She is also getting married and she has the most weird & strict wedding tradition:

Her MIL is very conservative so don't allow her to wear revealing gowns.
She has to have 12 tea cups during the tea ceremony as she said cannot wash the cups
She has to wear her wedding ring on the middle finger.

And those are the few things I find it ridiculous and funny about. But well no choice, sometime getting married is not just the two of us. It also has to please the parents, etc. Count ourselves lucky that both our parents have no ideas of the tradition. So we are all keeping everything simple and sweet. Morning come SJ will come to my house to fetch me to the hotel, we will do our ROM, follow-by tea ceremony and finally a luncheon reception for the rest of the guests. For the rest of the day, we can rest. I cannot imagine having to have a whole day affair from morning to night wearing my gown. The gown is rather heavy!~~~!~It will kill me to wear that the whole day and plus the killer heel. I was about to think maybe I can wear slipper underneath the gown instead of the heel. wahhaha. Anyway, it has been a fun gown hunting with unice and friend, and hope I can arrange another time with SJ again to confirm the BS.

The date has been set! 12 Dec 2010.

2010-03-22T18:24:00.005+08:00

The date has been set for our wedding!!!!! 12 Dec 2010.

Initially, the date is on 9 Dec which is a Thursday. We have a bad fight over it as Sj was afraid that no one will turn up for the wedding, even his relatives in Malaysia. I was very upset as it was the only date set by the master and we quarrel over it, feeling that he is been ridiculous. Its our wedding date, if those who loves us will sure take time off to attend our wedding. Why do we need to mind so much about others. It make my mum very furious also as she felt SJ was been too ridiculous. Finally after discussion, we decided to re-consult another master to get a new dates preferably in the weekend so that it will be convenience to everyone.

Actually, different masters will give you different dates as they use different ways to calculate. Some uses your birth dates, some uses the "tong shu", etc all from different school of thoughts. It does not matter, as long as both of you think the date is a good day, it's going to be a good day for the wedding.

12 dec 2010 is also going be a "double happiness" as its my brother birthday also. No idea he wants us to celebrate his birthday for him or not. Ke ke. Thinking of arranging a cake for him on that day.

The venue has also been decided. And its going to be held at "The Intercontinental Hotel".

I love their timeless classic theme as its set in white & turquoise, both my favourite colour. If its going to be this theme, we are planning to have the guys wear dark grey/grey suit with turquoise shirt and for the girls it will be white & turquoise for their dress/blouse/skirt.

MY SPACE!!!!!

2009-12-26T02:17:00.005+08:00

I want "MY SPACE", my "OWN SPACE"! Having spend my 30 years been controlled on things like what time to sleep, behaviour properly, totally no own space to do what I want to do even to house my own computer, having to share room with my mum. I HAD ENOUGH!!!! ENOUGH!!! I'm not going to spend my married life having to share MY SPACE, MY OWN SPACE with another other people!!! Except MYSELF!!!! I want to throw the dish at the sink and wash it as and when I WANTED TO! I want to throw my laundry and wash it as and when I WANTED TO!!! I don't want to do them because I HAD TO! I want my OWN KITCHEN!!! and mess it up, burn my food, cut my own finger, without having people to come and NAG AT ME!!! This should be the way to cook you food, cut your food! I want to sleep as and when I wanted to! without people nagging me to go to bed, nagging me to come back home and sleep! I have enough of people controlling me to do what they want me to do, I WANT TO DO IT AS AND WHEN I WANTED TO! and not BECAUSE I HAVE TO!!!

I had enough of people nagging me to get a FULL TIME JOB! FUCK CARE!!!!! and please don't think that you all know me and keep saying that I do not change, do not how to think and plan!~!~ for my fucking future!!!!!!! FUCK CARE!!! If getting married is so going to be pain in the ass!!! FUCK THE wedding! If getting a FULL TIME JOB is just to pay for my house, pay for my wedding! FUCK IT!!! I rather earn enough to feed myself than care about others! But the end of the day, all will just died. I rather died without regards that I'm working on something that I like rather than I'm working because I need to pay for my house!!!!! why should I be unhappy in what I work because I have to work in order to get money for my house!!! what do I get in return? Prehaps I will die suddenly just like Dar dar! Who knows? I don't know, you all also don't know.

I'm pressuring you about house and wedding!???!!! I have enough of nagging from my mum!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You want time, I GIVE YOU TIME! I'm playing GAME with you!!!??? that's what you question me! That's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have enough of everyone of you!!!! Get the HELL OUT OF MY SPACE!!!!!

I realize this is not the first time I get so MAD ABOUT GETTING MARRIED, the HOUSE and YOU!!! I'm starting to find it a pain in the ASS!!!!

I'm going to stay away from everyone LATER!!! I WANT MY ME!!!!! TIME!!!!!!

I miss you, Dar Dar

2009-12-24T21:34:00.002+08:00

Today marks the saddest day of my life... I lost one of my best friend, dar dar.... he has been my friend since secondary one... He had been with me all my break-ups, always there to cheer me up every time with his goofy jokes... I remember the time that he, ck & TJ played chess together at the study area during recee. We will all slip our recee time and just snacking on chocolate.... I remember his first time dating with B and his break up with her. He was crying his heart out... till my heart ache for him... I remember the first time he got his bike and he come and give me a ride around. I remember the stunt we had, when I tried to get the cashcard from the bike bag while he speed down the road. I remember the time we got bash up at clark quay, I drag him away from the fight and jump into the cab. He woke up the next day with a bruise in his eye and me with bruises and aches all over my hands & arms. Those where the memories... those were the days... and only dar dar remember... and now he has taken away forever....

Today, I won't be receiving his Christmas Greeting.... never again I will hear his voice... when was the last time I chat with him... when was the last time I hear his laughter.... I miss him... I don't need you to go find santa... nor christ...I need you to be here with everyone here today on this Christmas day....

You will be miss... every year on this day... you will be miss by everyone who love you... I will miss you.... you have took part of me away and part of me will be lost when you leave me.... LORD will take care of you... although I question him why he took you away... but neither do I can stop him.... I miss you and love you forever as my dear dear friend. May you rest in peace, dar dar...

不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有

2009-09-07T18:35:00.002+08:00

"不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有"I think is only the phrase that can explain this tragic..... today 9am I receive a news that one of my friend's wife has passed away.... Everything seems unreal to me even till now.... first it started off with a conversation between lynn and Pauline... and I find out that his wife is ill and is a terminal illness... unbelievable... she looks so radius in that red wedding gown as she walks down the isle... it felt that their wedding is just yesterday... yes it's just this May and I can remember we are complaining that it is so warm to hold a wedding outdoor, etc. At the same time, we are all very joyous that they finally can settle down after such a loooooooooooong relationship since secondary school. I beautiful love story started when they are in Secondary school, with many depart as each of them have to go overseas to study, and work, etc. And finally, just last year she quit her job (no idea she quit) and he decided to tour around America for 3months together. All were so sweet, a beautiful fairy tale ending where the prince and princess live happily ever after.... LORD please tell me you have a reason to tear this couple apart... leaving the prince grieving in pain...
One bad news follow another once I heard about what had happened... a bomb triggering another.... first her condition worsen and it should be this few days... and this morning she had passed away at 5am.... Now I'm waiting to go to her wake....
I guess life is fragile... and we won't know when is the end of the day... I can be today, it can be tomorrow... treasure yourself and the people you love. LORD I pray that now she is beside you , may you take care of her. May you also watch over those who loved her and keep they safe and sound... Amen....

Troubled....

2009-06-13T01:03:00.003+08:00

U seems troubled... I guess I have left her too long alone lately that I have neglected her... have not chat with her much as I cannot access to MSN... seem like I have lost half of my friends... KS is pregnant and I hardly get any call from her. I miss them... and hope I can help U find back herself again... its about time that someone can accompany her, not let her feel sad, protect her... and I wish LORD that you don't let my friend wait too long for what you have prepare for her.

Finally, I have QUIT my full-time job. Guess TV world is still more colourful than events. After finish the HTE project, I finally realise there is no "kick" in doing events. No matter how hard I try, it's still cannot give me that kind of satifaction compare to production. Happy that I'm going back and starting a new ch8 drama series next month. Yippy!!! Anyway, I no longer have any commitment, I can continue what I love. :o)

Recently hook on the korean version of metero garden - Boys before flowers ke ke F4!~~!~! they are so handsome. *drool* ke keAnd my favourite in the show is kim Bum~!~! So cute, boyish look.

I"m not getting married!!!!

2009-05-17T14:57:00.005+08:00

tired tired tired!~!~!~~ maintaining a r/s is so tiring... tired tired tired!~~~~~~~~~ No idea how I can put this to anyone.... even to my mother.... one moment he is all gear to look for houses making everyone think that we are getting marry now he is all wanting to focus on work, study, etc. HOW!~~!~!~!~! am I going to announce to the world that WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET MARRIED!~~!~ N-O, NO!~~!~!~!~! stop asking me questions about getting marry because I'm not going to and not in any near future also. He is not ready and maybe when he is ready, I'm not. Don't wish to hear him breath another word of such nor friends around me. Had enough of this marriage talk. If you want to study, or focus on your career please go ahead. Anyway, when I could not get married at 27, I already know that I will never get married... this is the not the only marriage proposal I heard and fail to fulfill... see no point getting married. Is it a duty? It it a promise? A must? Does it matter? Someone that you want to spend the rest of your life? I totally have no idea, that is why I always ask my friends who got married how you know he is the one? They just know? But what even if you know he/she is the one, the other person don't... ?

The time of the year....end of 2008

2008-12-14T20:01:00.005+08:00

It's the time of the year again to reflect on yourself again, what have you did for the past 365 days before the dawn of the new year... Time really flew in a blink of an eye... just like taking a deep breath... and it's already December!!!!

I have started in another new company for almost 3 month and it felt that I was with the company for years. The first two months past like a wind, before I knew it I have did an award ceremony for MOM which I can still remember clearly that my hand was trembling on the keyboard at the FOH during the award ceremony. Now I'm churning proposals day-in, day-out and manage to organise one of my very own event for NLB. I'm waiting anxiously for many more events that I have proposed... although I have lost many... but I believe one day I will be able to do a BIG event.

However, this job of mine starts to create a strain in my r/s... is not that he is not supportive but he don't see the reason why I work so hard at time till the point of breaking down... I don't really know why either at time.. but what I do know it gives me a "kick" out of it just to see my creation been executed and appreciated. And, working here have been wonderful as you are been appreciated and the colleagues have been very supportive for each other every time. We always have a joke around, "When in doubt/trouble, look for the GOD". The "GOD" is none other my BOSS. He is always there to "support" us and I found him a very smart businessman. He is someone that practice & preach the 7th effective habits that is believing in interdependet work environment rather than independent. We gone through lessons almost everyday where colleagues will share their experience or knowledge of different aspect of work so that we can learn from them. We sort of keep learning everyday... sometime is really a drag when you have to juggle the time between handing up your proposal & going to the lesson/meeting. That's one of the reason why my time in the company pass so fast everyday - I havent have time to take a breath to stone!~!~

I felt lucky that I have taken the step to leave the previous company I was with... the last I visited my ex colleague in the event I was suppose to work with... it din't come close to what I'm doing right now... and I believe my colleague were very stress trying to put the event up for the client... from the 3 months that I have left the company they only did TWO event for the B client and thats all.. what happen to all the promised concerts, conference, etc... I fear it's not going to last long... plus the recession is going to hit the shore hard, my company is already on the red alert to embrace the storm ahead but by the sound from my ex colleagues they are still aimless of the future.... before I left the company I thought I was not cut out for the event industry but the truth is I was not cut out in that complicated company politic. I was able to manage my client and excuate my event with ease and without any pressure from my management or fear that I might screw up anything. Not that my management don't know what I have did, my boss has access to all our emails and know what we say to our client. But the amount of respect and trust, may working for the company an ease and worth. Not forgetting the treats that our boss always give us during lunch and sometime party friday. But the strange thing is our turn over-rate for the past 3months are rather high.... need to be there long enough to find out the dark secrets!~!~

I realise that every company will have a funny character... the last one was my ex boss and this company has a sudo event manager which thinks he know everything. He is rather an exile in our company as everyone don't likes him. He usually very "broke" and sometime forgets to return poeple money when they help him gets his lunch. He usually gets on people nerve as he is very disorganise in his planning. But how "broke" can a person be, if I tell you he drove a lancer!~!~~ and had an expensive maintance girlfriend who is rich but he claims not spoilt by the parents? He is those kind of people who embrace the amercian culture, talks like one, and think like one - SELFISH!~! Sometime, I felt that he should be humble... he once told me that his gf's aunty have an apartment at a expensive place (forget where is it but from the sound of it, it's like some prestige place) and the gf's parent want their children to be independent despite been rich and will want her to move out of the house when she graduate. Been dote by the aunty, the aunty offer to lend the place to his gf and the gf wish that he can move in with her. He told me that it requires like $2k to rent the place... unless he is earning LOT LOT more than I do, I serious think he is crazy to move out from his home to stay with his gf!~!~ The last event that we had with him, ended with my colleague very pissed with his client and him. I tell you its also one of the terrible 3hrs that I have encountered so far. Enough of the "weirdo" of my company.

2008 is also the year of many happy occassions- Bee got married and now had a beautiful baby girl. Kx settle down and start a new family with F, AL's baby boy has finally arrive to this world, one of my ex collague, J's baby girl is arriving soon next year, and one of my friend just got married a few days ago... So many wedding bells, so many babies around. It's very hard not to think that I'm actually getting OLD!~!~!~! 1 more stop to the number 3 and before I knew it I'm going turn 30 in 2 more years to go.... Sometime when I think about it, it's kind of scary. I still remember vaguely when I'm much younger, we talk about getting married, wanting to settle down at 27 and have babies, etc now I'm 29 I think everything can wait till much later.. and I think when I reach my 30s, prehaps what I want is a space that I call my own....

I also find that there is distance between my friends... I missed the days I had with U and Kx having a glass of wine on our hand... and I have not heard from my production group friends for a month... with everyone busy with their projects... I wish to reconnect back with them althought it's going to be hard to meet up with KS but at least I should make an afford to date U out to continue our wine indulge... I find it very relax and calming after a drink or two.

I'm looking forward to the getaway with SJ... I find it a must once in awhile to getaway from everything - just to soak youself in the pool, reading a book in your hand under the sun to really reflect what you have done for the past 12 months. Make your own self reflection, note down your new year resolutions and focus your strength for the upcoming year. It's a pit-stop that I always like to have to clear my thoughts and find back my strength... and reconnect back to the detech self....

3 month and I'm out! (Part 1)

2008-09-22T10:48:00.002+08:00

My life as an assistant event producer end short in just 3 month.... it's the shortest job I have ever had... At first I thought that I have found a really fun full time job, as I'm going do a concert!!! My very first concert!~! So excited!~! but this excitement do not last long and when the day of the event started I simply cannot contain myself and wish it to finish ASAP. All because of my boss. The sage of my boss started 2month ago when our client came for their press release in Singapore. I was asked to bring my client out for photo shoot that is when everything begin. I simply hate my boss because i hate her behavious... super low EQ person... every where she go we simply need to clear her shit... like a storm, she simply sweep everyone off.

The 1st dinner at equinox was the most embracing moment of my life. When we first make the booking we already tell her that the table we are getting for them can only seat 10pax and the rest have to sit a table away... when we reach there the TW agent say why can't everyone sit together... for goddness sake they have like 13 pax!!! how to squeeze there? despite that my boss demand that all 13 of them to be seat together!~~!!~~ ah!~~~~~~~ the start of the nightmare... well everyone should know that restaurant organize their manpower based on the number of pax at the table... and so due to lack of manpower that day they only assign 1 waiter to serve 13 people!!! *faint* the service became slow... water was sever very very slow... and everyone of us is panicking as we know what our boss will do.. we try our best to avoid such embracing moment... we try to hurry the waiter and even have thought of serving the drinks ourselves... only to get a remark, "this is fine dining, not fast food".., well we try our best... but still cannot avoid my boss going after the restaurant manager to give him a hard time of complaining that their service was bad!!!! That was not the end of it... her credit card was swipe to the max and she could not pay for meal!!! ahhhhhhhhhh $3000++ dinner and she do not have money... what if that day mama su is not there, who has so much money to pay for it!~!~~! the restaurant manager came back with her card and say that it cannot be charge... than she start to complain that it must be the hotel that lock her credit card... so mama su offer her credit card and when the manager return he said,"At least your bank is working!" Oh gosh, that is so embracing...

The next day after the press conference, I have to bring the client for photo shoot... that's when all the fire starts to spark. My boss did not follow because she has a production meeting. So bring them to botanical garden, mount faber, sentosa, night safari... very disorganize photo shoot as the makeup artist any how put her stuff, etc and we have to help her pick up along the way as we move from one area to another... I think I was very sway also.. 1st I had a insect bite during my nick event and left a ugly scar on my feet... and during the photo shoot I was bite by unknown and my leg swell!!!! at first i thought maybe I'm tired after walking the whole day which most of the time I usually will but despite that I still continue to bring them around. Then my boss called and start "screaming" where we are, blar blar... and ask me why I never report to where where we go, etc. DUH!!! it does not cross my mind that I need to!!! coz I never need to report to my boss during my shoot. Plus, I' m concentrating to move them from one location to another, where got time to think that I have to report to you? So she tell me to call her when we move to another location. When we are like 30min in the location, she called and again and said, " I know that you all are enjoying yourself, can hear you all laughing, etc but can you tell the boss that she is worried and have been calling to check on them, etc" Oh please loh, I felt all these is soooooooooooooooo fake. You know where we are, etc why not you come and look for us after your production meeting? That spark my anger and I was very angry with her... "you accusing my professionalism that I'm playing and din't do my work?"- was what keep ringing in my mind that night, I refuse to talk to her cause I was so furious and when I'm angry I tear so to avoid that I refrain from talking to her. Despite that she kept calling, so I asked my colleague to help me answer, and she make my colleague to tell the boss that she has been calling, etc. When we tell her that the group is coming back, she question us "why they want to go back hotel, did we make them do so, etc." WE??? in what rank or position we have to make them come back to hotel? So everyone was back, and of coz my face is still red from my anger. When they all went out to their room, she turn around and started to "scold" us, "why we embarrass her, etc", that's the last straw I'm going to get from her. Go suck the client ball if you want, I think I have did my best within my professionalism limit. I hate PR-ing and don't know how to PR, you think I'm not doing my job, fine I QUIT!!!!! before I left she told me that I don't need to bring them out for photo shoot the next day, "good for me" that's how I felt. If you are so good, you bring them out yourself. I sms her when I left the hotel that I'm quiting! She accepted my resignation on the very next sms. And that was not it, she msg me back say that "I need to serve one month notice and I better don't foul up her pre-sale on the weekend." FOUL UP!!! you undermine my professionalism to be so petty that I'm sabotaging my work? you must be crazy to say that to me, and I think if suntec city is not build on solid foundation, I believe it will be brought down by my scream that night. When I saw that blood is boiling to high temperature. Then she called! She called and said in the most disgusting sweet voice that you can imagine, "can you please come tomorrow to bring them out for photo shoot?" I said, "I think your fine to bring them yourself." "Oh, no no, I felt that it will be better if you bring them and settle them down, can you do me this favour?" "FINE!~!~ I will do this favour for you!!! I want to leave immediately!~!~ I don't want to serve a month notice and if I cannot I want to pay my way out!" At that moment, I don't even want to stay a minute near her! it disgust me! and you know what she say, "I'm not too sure, I have to check with A. But its subject to my approval." I feel like going back to hotel to slap her and tear her to piece, if you know what I mean. Never in my life that someone really irritate the hell out of me, unleashing the devil of me.
Despite that I did bringing the client to shoot for another day....

After the client left, it's time to settle the score between me and her. My resignation!!! I tell you, she is not a simple woman! She know very well my character, so she goes around telling my colleague, how sorry she was, etc and that I'm leaving she felt sad, etc. She knew very well that all these will get to my ear and my colleagues will ask me to stay, etc. She even tell everyone during our post event meeting that she scared that I was still angry with her the next day that she was the one who say hello me and even invite us several time to go for the farewell dinner but it's me that I din't go perhaps I was still angry with her. ANGRY! Please loh, she make us buy farawell gifts- bak gua, pandan cakes and needed to give them on the way to the airport and you expect me to turn up for the dinner?? Unless I have a twin sister, I don't think I can go lor. But all the time she make it sound like I was the petty one! After that, we have a chit-chat. Been a simple person, and I really wanted to complete what I have started I decided to stay. That's when I make the stupid mistake - to let her continue to torture me with her LOW EQ!!!

A day at the bird park

2008-08-17T17:59:00.006+08:00

Took a day off and wake up early to go to Bird park to have breakfast!~!~ That was one of the enjoyable day that I had despite it ended in just 3hours later with SJ having a bad constipation... and wanted to go home after that... was a bit disappointed but felt that it is very nice of him to wake up early to go birdpark.

I guess its a weekday morning so that is hardly a single sole there to have breakfast and I thy we are the only two crazy singaporean to wake-up so early to go have breakfast at Bird park. ke ke. That's why we have the exclusive early bird show just for the two of us. We get to take picture with the bird, feed the ducks and have our fortune told by Merlin the parrot.Overall I enjoy it... everyone who know us will definitely call us crazy but seriously Singapore really have nothing to do. But one have to find joy in what we have in this small island. It's the not place but the company that you are with. I simply enjoy the simple thing like just sit at the beach side to enjoy the sea breeze... calm and peaceful.

I'm looking forward to book at farm villa at lim chu kang to enjoy a farm stay. ke ke

YOU don't have to travel to Australia for a farmstay vacation.

By September, you will be able book one of the 20 farm villas at Lim Chu Kang's new agri-tainment site off Neo Tiew Road.

This Singapore farm hotel will come with room service, housekeeping and spa-on-demand services.

Room with a view: The villas will have a balcony that overlooks a fruit plantation.

Visitors will also be able to wine, dine, and shop at the agri-tainment farm.

It will have retail outlets, a restaurant with about 7,000 sq ft of outdoor space and a 6,000 sq ft beer garden.

The 547,883 sq ft attraction - about the size of six football fields - is the largest agri-tainment farm in Lim Chu Kang.

It is being developed by HLH Agri R & D, a subsidiary of mainboard-listed PDC Corp.

HLH is among the largest commercial corn producers in Asia.

In December 2006, the Singapore Land Authority (SLA) awarded HLH one of the first three agritainment land parcels in Lim Chu Kang at $880,000 on a 20-year lease.

Giving The New Paper on Sunday a preview, Dato Johnson Ong, deputy chairman of HLH Group, said: "Each air-conditioned villa will have a balcony, which overlooks the two-hectare tropical fruit plantation. The toilets will have a sky view as they are partially sheltered."

Besides the lifestyle offerings, a research and development centre for corn and other agricultural products will be built and used as an educational showcase for visitors.

Beverage company Super Coffeemix has sealed a deal with PDC to showcase coffee production methods at the research centre.

There will be no admission fee to the yet-to-be-named agri-tainment farm, which aims to draw 300,000 to 500,000 visitors annually.

Work in progress: A scale model of the 547,883 sq ft site.

Dato Ong said the entire development is estimated to cost $10 million.

About half of the construction work has been completed.

The firm said it expects to hire about 200 people to work at the farm.

The new development will further inject buzz to Lim Chu Kang.

There are more than 10 farms there now.

Farms under the Kranji Countryside Association include Neo Tiew Road's Bollywood Veggies, run by former Netball Singapore president Ivy Singh-Lim.

Visitors can dine at its bistro, Poison Ivy, go on farm tours and shop for fresh vegetables.

There is also the Petals and Leaves Bistro at Nyee Phoe Flower Garden.

The New Paper on Sunday understands that landscape company Nyee Phoe Group will be launching four kampung-style chalets in Neo Tiew Crescent this year.

And Yoli Technologies, which won the bid for two other plots of land - with a total land area of almost 296,000 sq ft - in Lim Chu Kang in 2006, will develop them for agri-tainment purposes.

Said Mr Teo Jing Kok, SLA's deputy director of land sales: "The entrepreneurs who tendered for the sites were willing to try out something new and different to make Singapore a more exciting place to live, work and play in.

"They are taking bold initiatives to help turn Lim Chu Kang into a rustic recreational hinterland."

This is HLH's first foray into the lifestyle and hospitality business, although Dato Ong earlier ran a fish farm in Sungei Tengah Road for three years.

He recalled: "Then, I couldn't offer even food and drinks for visitors at the fish farm because the land was solely meant for agriculture use.

LIVING ON A FARM

"At Lim Chu Kang, I wanted more than just a dining experience. So we decided to build the villas where people can also enjoy the experience of living on a farm without travelling out of Singapore."

HLH's villas also come with a private car porch each.

Guests who arrive by car can check-in at a drive-through point at the main entrance before driving to the villa and parking there.

Said Dato Ong: "It will be a three-star hotel - without the swimming pool and tennis courts."

The rates, however, will not be cheap. Each night will be priced from at least $150, excluding taxes. But Dato Ong is confident the villas will enjoy a "good pick-up rate".

He explained: "I think the concept of living on a local farm will appeal to Singaporeans and tourists.

"There will be much to do and see at Lim Chu Kang."

Is it it cool!~!~ I guess it will be so much fun sia.!~! After a day a the bird park, we went to T3 to have our dinner. We end up in SJ favour food, teppanyaki. And, I can say its worth the money and its tasty than what we usually get from the same restaurant. We have beef set which we have beef, cuttlefish, foie gras!~! teppanyaki chawamushi, assorted mushroom, galic rice, miso soup & green tea ice-cream for the price of $19.90 of coz add abit more money to change from plain rice to galic rice. But for the same price you have you only get beef, prawn, salmon, veg, rice & Miso. Really worth right!! the foie gras is already very expensive. Next time, should visit airport more to taste other food. :) A very fulfilling day!~!~

New Job!~

2008-07-05T10:42:00.006+08:00

It has been a roller coast ride for the past month on my new job... been busy like HELL!~! throw into the big sea to SWIM!~! Been treated like a DOG!~!~~ but I'm proud to say that I have SURVIVE!~ The company is so fresh.. everyone is so new to the job even my assistant that I went in she hardly know how & what to do... and worst of all she left 1 week after I join the company leaving me alone to clear the mess & shit that was left by her to organize an event in 3 weeks time!!! It's consider a "big" event for someone who know nuts about what's event!!! Need to talk to the clients, service the clients, talk to contractors, etc worst of all my client is my boss BEST FRIEND! I remember I got such a bad scolding from my boss in the mid of meeting just because her friend thought that I am quarreling with my boss on the phone and I told them that my designer can't deliver the chances by tomorrow meeting. Her friend msg her during the meeting and told her that I cannot handle the meeting and wanted my boss to rush down. My boss was so furious that she "threaten" to FIRE me and REFUSE to let me work on the concert project! Well, I'm a die hard cockroach you can say that, and I promise myself that I will make her shallow back her words and say a big THANK YOU to me. It's either she die or I die with the project. Frankly speaking, if you want to compare an event and a drama series both are very similar - its all about logistic planning but what is so different is client servicing, making sure that your client is HAPPY with your service. That is what I'm not good at, pleasing people!~!~ I find it FAKE & TIRING!~ For the past 3 weeks, I'm basically changes everything that my colleague had done, from quotation to her proposal. Can you imagine, she uses MS word to go a QUOTATION???!!! And at first I thought that is the format that our company uses!! *faint* After the struggle of staying a float in this big sea the day of the event finally come!!!

Thank GOD for blessing this event too... for twice dark cloud & rain threaten to end the event early... the rain came and went... and at the very last hour the rain came again!! I was praying so hard for the rain to go away as my break dancers were rushing for next production. Lucky its a quick shower and the event manage to end with a successful wrap NICK SLIME!!!!~~~!~

Baby!~!~

2008-05-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

More baby!~! It's the season for baby... Let's welcome my ex colleague baby Iona!~!~

Responsibility

2008-05-27T16:42:00.004+08:00

Recently, I recieved a message from one of my best friend that she is PREGNANT!!! The news came as a shock rather than joy because she just got married suddenly and now she is pregnant and going to be due this september... I could not believe my eyes when I saw those words on my msn... in fact this piece of news tormanted me throughout the night that I hardly can sleep. Why I had such a reaction is that... she is someone which we grew up together since Secondary school and based on her character I simply cannot believe that she can stupidly make such MISTAKE! Pardon me, I did not meant that literally but what kept ringing at back of my mind is in what mind state she was in when such things happened- she's drunk?;her bio clock ticking?;she is disperate to get married after failed twice to settle down?they forget that there is such things as condom???? why why why?? For me, I felt that when marriage was decided based on such rush condition usually is rocky and shaky. As you are so confuse about your pregnancy and now comes the question of marriage... to find the one RESPONSIBLE for his ACTION! And usually is because you have to be responsible for what you had done and therefore you have to be responsible now to get married to take care of this responsibility. I have seen many cases of such and many of them end up getting divorce. I'm not cursing or sort, of course I want her to be happily married till end of time. Is just that people simply do not know that having a child is not just responsiblity but a long time commitment to love the child unconditionally till end of time in regardless of what happened to you.
Some parents nowsaday is so individualistic.. all they care is about themselves... hardly cares about their children. Notice I uses "some parents" because there are some parents that suffer silently for the sake of their children. Children of those individualistic parents are just like a doll to them that can be easily discarded away. I remember once the parents of one of the kid in my drama series. They are undergo seperation/divorce and the poor child of 8 years old was often left in the set. They even suggest to let the kid stay in the film set so that they don't have to be so troublesome to bring him there everytime. During our wrap party, the father actually suppose to bring the child back and at the end of the party the father just called and say he is busy, cannot come and fetch the kid back. He ask him to take a bus home. An 8-years old kid and you ask him to take a bus back by himself?? You crazy or what?? And, when we ask the kid to call again, the father did not pick up the phone any more... when ask about how about his mother... he told us that the father ask him not to disturb her... so what you expect the kid to do?? I simply cannot understand them at all... why bother to give birth and yet do not have the least responsibility to take care of the child? What happen to RESPONSIBILITY assumption to the kid when both couple relationship turns sour??
The moral responsibility of the society is also a growing concern for my friend, qi who works in the health promotion board for AIDS awardness. I just attended one of her focus group discussion about STDs and AIDS awardness. Seriously, I felt that is not that the society are not aware about such infectious disease, is that people are just not morally responsibile for themselves. I'm sure with our high education population, by now people sure heard of what's STDs or AIDs at some point of our life. I guess it all goes down to morally and socially responsible for one personal act. If the person is not responsible, even if you put a condom right infront of him/her, they just won't protect themselves. Likewise those campaign posters that pasted all over the island. Human being just sometime too ignorant even to themselves. If you are not sick, you just won't go to the doctor but unlike AIDs once you get it there is no cure (turning back the clock).
Okay enough blattering of responsiblity. I'm happy for my friend even though I'm shock of her action. I too want her to have a cute and bubbling girl. Finally, after all these years she has grown up!!! She's going to be a mother. No longer, the girl that always wants us to take care of her... I still remember the days in school when we have our Home economic classes. She is my partner and everytime I end up washing the dishes as she is allegic to soap. She hardly know how to cook - she throw her food into the hot oil and end up the oil splashing out of the hot wok! I remember her break off with her 1st boyfriend, DD and how she struggle to keep dd away from those bad company. She once threaten him with a knife and end up a scar on her hand when both of them wrestle the knife. And in return, when both of them broke off, DD cut himself (almost kill himself, lucky the cut miss by a millimeter). There are many memories they both of us shared. I happy for her and wish her all the best to her motherhood and a happy marriage life ahead.
Marriage is a gamble and you won't know you have won the game till the minute you are on your dying bed. That's what I feel. As each of us grow individualistic in this ever changing society... it has become harder to find someone that will cherish you till end of time. Temptation is lurking in every corner, and how to stay faithful to the one you are married to when one cannot even stay faithful to their partner when they are dating. Such thought has said to become a fairytale in this modern society. There will be always someone better than the one who is beside you. No one person possesses all the characteristic of your "idealistic"girl/guy so when is the time to say that she/he is the one of my life time? It's a question that kept me thinking...

Back to full time...

2008-05-24T10:32:00.005+08:00

Yesterday end the last day of a freelancer... I'm going to work as a full time senior event executive for an entertainment company.... no more lazing around... fooling around (my mum so called claim that I have been fooling around for the past 3yrs. I have been working damn hard leh!!) ... no more worry whether there is another next project or not... I will miss them... I will miss the fun I had every time during my shoot... I miss everyone, every thing!~!~ I'm a person who hate to move to new environment but at the same time I can easily settle down in it if the environment is suitable. I guess I will, as I pretty like the boss there... we seems to click very well during the interview... hope the colleagues are friendly too. I hate politic environment, people trying to back stab each other... I considered these as hostile environment and usually I die there faster because I'm a straightforward person I tend to speak out my mind. If I don't like someone, my face can easily tell. eeeeeee I drag those high-heel shoes, business wear... bohohoho.... no more comfy jeans, t-shirt....
Yesterday, we happen to drop by SJ's feng shui master's shop to have a brief fortune told. What he said was soooooo hit right at the spot. He said that I best work for the government due to my heavy metal element and beside me I have fire that gives me a high authority of power. I'm very stubborn and stingy of my money. If I'm to get married best will be at the age of 33 (chinese birth yr) and even so my marriage has a crack but I can be easily resolve because I'm a very vocal person so will speak up if there is any problem. What surprises me was he ask me did I lost every thing in the year 2005. I was shocked!!! Because in 2005 something did happened, which I broke off with T and I felt that's the end of the world.. felt that I don't have anything left... I felt I have lost everything... its a gamble that I took in regard of everyone disagreement and I lost the game... and because of that I'm still full of resentments and frustration (which is indirectly true). I'm one who don't like kid... but he told me I should have and will have no problem having as I have alot can have 3 kids - first a boy, girl and than a boy. He told me I should have kids cause its good for me... as they sort of release off my frustration and resentment. My career will be okay and in the age of 37 I will be going smooth till age of 57. My husband will be very career minded and will seldom care for me, I should just concentrate on building my career instead as it's nothing to do with womanizing. Even if I'm married, I still attract suiters as my character is what a guy is looking for. *grin grin*. He even calculated that I had injured/problem with my right shoulder leh! so scary!~!~ Last year has been a good year for me cause I have some sort of promotion which is true I have promoted to a Assistant director and my boss gave me a pay increment. He say soon I will face some problem (forget which yr) in my career as I will face competition by people who curry favour, etc and I will feel frustrated by it. I even have competition to compete for my husband to be leh!!! If we manage to pass through everything will smooth sailing for us. Wah so many thing predicted is so close sia... I think I want to go for a through reading for my new career. I'm also thinking to bring qi to go for a reading also, hope to give her some lovers!~! more lovers!~!~ ke ke.
I'm all set to embark this new journey... everything is back to zero.. I knew nothing about what is ahead of me.. but I think I will be able to survive just like I had so far... hope its a career path that will last long... entertainment industry is very bitchy.. behind the glamorous are faces of the evil. Lord, I pray for your guidance, strength and wisdom in this journey I'm about to take.

Practical V.S Romantic

2008-05-23T09:32:00.006+08:00

You can say I'm living in a fairytale world remove from reality... because there is no such creature as a romantic man. When man been romantic because they are just been practical! Thanks to my bf who totally destroy a romantic notion of a wedding proposal... men just do not get it that such topic even it's been practical - its time to settle down with the woman of my choice, I'm capable of taking care of my woman, etc ; I know you can, that's what every woman expect their man to be able to do so, even thought now women are equally educated and have the equal ability to support themselves financially, even so you cannot simply tell a woman that I will be romantic when I propose to you because I know by doing that you will say Yes! Just like you don't kiss and tell your friend, you don't say such things to a women! Destroy, totally destroy... and I'm put off by such topic from now onwards. Anything about getting married, setting up a home, etc all sound like a call of duty to me now. No more of the fairytale world, girl meet a boy that she loves and both live happily ever after. It's all back to been practical that he is the man that fits my ideal partner, someone that I believe that can take care the rest of my life, someone who I can depend on as he is financially stable, independent, etc that is the reason why I chose him and which all this is at the back of mind. So much of wanting to make it sound more romantic that we both click very well together, we enjoy doing activities together - going to museum, etc, he is a caring person (in his own way), etc and we decided to move on to the next stage of life.
For what I believe, women no matter how practical they are, by the end of the day they are just women. Women are just emotional creature and we are make in such a way by God or you can say that we are socially constructed to be that way. But I do not rule out that there are women who are emotionally self sufficient and they don't need any one to feed their demand for such feelings. For me, although I'm considered by most guys that I'm very independent, but inside I'm very emotionally demanding. And, to be frank a lot of time I'm simply trying to please everyone around me - my friends, my bf, my family. I divide my time among them so that everyone of them can get a piece of me every week. My mum told me, "You seems like not attached to me. Like every time I hardly sees your boyfriend around or be with you. Unlike, your brother girlfriend, she always hangs around in the house. Go out with us to eat, shopping, etc." The reason I don't bring my bf out when I go shopping with my mum or have dinner is that I don't want her to feel left out. She will feel lonely if I bring my bf along, unless uncle is coming than I know someone can chat with her, etc. There was once I decided that I wanted something of my own, despite all the disagreement. I wanted to be with one my ex bf, despite my mother, my family member dislike him. I believe that love is everything and I don't need to please anyone any more. I let go a stale relationship to be with him. I'm trying to be practical. My then current bf won't be moving upward to where I wanted to. He is just been too romantic and impractical most of the time. Reminded me so much of my late father, of trying to dig empty the money just to satisfy a need that is impractical. I thought he was romantic and practical, a balance of it. That's when I realize that I'm all wrong. He is not romantic, not practical, he is just individualistic. He left without a trace, leaving me dying at the bottom of the pit.
Been too practical simply destroy everything that has a meaning to it. Treating your mother to a mother's day lunch during mother's day can be say a practical thing. You can treat your mother any other day but why succumb to the propaganda of mother's day, likewise Christmas, Valentine day birthday, anniversary, etc. Because it's meaningful and such meanings had long been socially connoted as Romantic. You can say that you don't need to buy a present during valentine day as it's all propaganda but when one receive it finds that you are romantic and sweet and that feeling become amplify as you been loving. In our current society, everyone is simply busy making money, every minute, every second of their life. And, it's because of this propaganda of valentine day, mother's day started to put a temporary stop sign to our life and tell us that today we should spend some time with our family, friends and love ones and we are obligated to spend that day with them. I use the word obligated because to many they don't sees it's a need, they felt that the person is obligated to be there always. But, you also simply don't just treat your mother to a lunch treat because it's a practical thing to do and then during the whole course of meal you just read your newspaper. Do you know how I feel when I see my bf's parents during the mother's day treat? I feel sad. Well, his parent is happy that they got a treat from their son but throughout the course of meal he simply there reading newspaper and I'm the only one chatting with them. He says that he don't like celebration, he cannot eat his food without his newspaper. But do you know that they wanted a piece of your time for them to chat and talk about how's your work life, your life, etc. Even if you are sick or not feeling not too well in your stomach, you don't throw a fuss and make it felt that you are been drag to come and eat some organic food that you drag about without trying it. And, at the other end you wanted teppanyaki which is 100 times more greasy and oily and makes your already uncomfortable stomach worst. Just order something light. It's not about the food, it's the company they want. And , when I say company is not your physical self there but you interacting with them. To be frank, I was very uncomfortable. He makes it feel like his been drag there to have lunch with them.
It's not that I don't know how to be practical but practicality simply dehumanize somethings that has meaning to it even it is suppose to be practical but by adding in the romantic element make it more meaningful, means that you are still been loved. I remember a few years ago, I did not brought a cake for my mother's birthday and she was angry and upset for that one whole year till her next birthday and till now she still will bring it up. You will say what's so great about a birthday cake? You treated her a birthday dinner and celebrate with her that should be enough, cakes is for children. But that cake carries a meaning, a meaning that she is still been loved by us and we appreciate her. You can say that's not practical, you can get her a Gucci bag as a present, etc that's more practical. That's where the meaning is been dehumanize. It's not how much or how expensive the gift is, is the thought that counts.
I always complain to my bf that he hardly gives me any gift. He always response to me that is not that I don't give I want to buy for you and ask you to go into that shop and choose what you want but is you who don't want it. He is been practical because he don't want to end up buying something that in the end I don't like and I get upset about it. But by doing that the meaning of giving gift is lost. Perhaps thats what all his practical ex gfs did, you don't get me that latest Gucci bag don't come and see me. That's been practical isn't it? What you want, just demand/says what you want and walk into that store give me your credit card and purchase it now. Case closed! Why has to go through those romantic ridicule things such as finding out what she wants, buying it down secretly, wrap it up and surprise her, its really a waste of energy you know? And, isn't it the same? Buying it now and surprise her latter is also giving gift? That's where everything is wrong to me. That's when you never see and feel the happiness of a person who received the gift. Well, you can say both are the same but that kind of happiness is just in between the grey line that is hard to write it down in words. Take for example when Qi receive her present, its a portable speaker docker for her mp3 player. It's a statement she simply just says out and she is intending to get it but can do without it also, just browsing only during one of our shopping trip. This then became our gift idea and when she received she was thrill and she was surprise that we take notice of her wants. That is so simpler but the meaning to the gift is so much more to just a gift she receives. Its a reflection of friendship and understanding, been loved by friends and that's how a gift can do.
The meaning of romantic is very simpler and it can never define nor explain. It's the small things that's matter and counted as romantic but those small things cannot be define also. What connoted as romantic to me, may not be to others. It varies from one person to another and with it comes with the experience that one expose to. However, they are also practical. Practical in the senses that it's needed to satisfy one's need for emotion, spiritual, physical and intellectual needs. My bf wanted that needs when he feel sick. He wanted me to be able to take care of him and pat him when he is sick. I don't know he knew that its a romantic gesture in his so called practical world of his. He never realize that he is the one who never let go of the past which he so called claimed he did. If he had, why he fail to see that he is using a formula from his past relationship as a limiter and apply on ours. Because he was too romantic till disgust by one of his ex that he wants to be more practical. Because he finds that there is no point loving some one so much and at the end of the day they just left you with nothing, so now I wanted to love myself more. Well, there is nothing with that. How we have evolved as who we are today is from the experience we had. But he left me with nothing to choose from him. So must I thank all his exs that who is he now, should be the correct lover make up of the best selection - one who is a practical person, hardly a romantic one (coz romantic man exist in fairytale world), one who grantee to provides for the family but that's about all, one who grantee loves you but that's what he will do and what you want he will give. One who is so in control of his emotion and that make you felt that he thinks and cares about himself all the time. Sometime his behavior is really a pain in the ass like a spoilt kid that refuse to listen to your advise esp when he is sick. Sometime he is just lovely dove to you but always at the wrong moment and when you want to be lovely dove to him he just not responding to what you want. He like peace and tranquility but he moving like a space bullet every time. Even if you say you need to move fast to be able to enjoy the peace and tranquility but its peace and tranquility how peaceful can one enjoy it when you are moving so fast pace? You don't even have time to breath in enough peaceful air to begin with to be enjoying it. There is time to be fast pace but there is time to just pause in slow motion. Take time to appreciate the peace and tranquility that you have created from your fast pace life. You simply cannot rush in peace and tranquility thats what it is called or else it will be fast peace and fast tranquility. And, to me he is simply impatient to everything , so how can peace and tranquility exist? All he wanted is rush to that peace and move on to another. He loves me but he is putting so much limiter to it!!! Can you imagine, you are so happy to share something happy, joyous occasion, and his tone of interest can just destroy everything! He says he is listening but he is just not interested. This you are not interested, that you are not interested then there is nothing I can chat with you or share. I'm not talking about chatting about intellectual topics like the born of christ, the end of the world, I'm talking about my every day life minus the number of time I farted, I dig my nose, etc. Perhaps he never notice why... all these is pulling us apart... he started as a gentleman to me, he listen and chat attentively about anything to you... now he simply called me every night, whin at time, and good night. Hello, I waited for the whole day for this phone call to express my concern for your whole day and wanted to share my day to you. If you are tired and had chat the whole day, you don't feel like talking, its fine with me, you don't have to call. Its fine with me that you don't have to send me home, only to be rushing my feet because you are tired and hot. It's not me been sensitive and I know its his way of caring and romantic but by doing it, it all back fired everything. Then I will get things like "I wish you will love who I am just like I love you who you are"; "If there is so much unhappy things about me, I think we should seriously think about our relationship"; "I have become someone who can let go of a relationship in regards of how much I love that person". He has no idea that last sentence makes my heart freeze up... like I'm sitting on a time bomb.... I'm very sensitive to such words... it's like cutting open a past wound that healed... I guess I have alot of things that I wanted to talk to him about... but I guess I felt that he cannot give me the attention that I'm looking for... he claim he is... I start to question... what needs he can fill me up? If I can't share my emotion to him.... and such motion tends to surf up when I'm having my PMS.... how.........

Bee Bee's wedding. 30th April 2008!

2008-05-15T14:26:00.000+08:00

Life is simple...and happy

2008-04-29T21:47:00.004+08:00

Life is simple when two pairs of hands whip out a simple dinner together... Life is slow having breakfast at the cafe with your girl friend. I simply love this kind of lifestyle... a nice glass of red wine, in my living room, listening to a slow ballet.... cook some food... spread a mat at the park and read a book... living life slow and simple.. take moments to listen to the nature.... life is just so simple.

入れ墨

2008-04-27T21:36:00.003+08:00

入れ墨 (Irezumi) refers to the insertion of ink under the skin to leave a permanent, usually decorative mark, in other words tattooing. I do not own any tattoo but I am always fascinated by these detail work of art on human skin. This fuel my desire and urge to get one myself.... but it take courage to go through the pain... For the longest time I want to get a fallen angel...

The change!!!

2008-04-22T20:25:00.006+08:00

Before brace

During Brace

After Braces

Lost....

2008-04-22T09:28:00.004+08:00

suddenly I see a big gap between the both of us after the 'big quarrel' a few days ago... is it there always, did I not see it? I'm completely lost... after that... our indifferences suddenly become so obvious... the distance between us suddenly felt far away... I suddenly realise that I am just standing at the same spot... never move... or have I? My mind is blank, my heart felt cold... the picture that I tried to hold on to... suddenly break apart... I suddenly realise that I hardly know the person who has been holding my hand for the past few months... who is he? what he do? how he feels? what he like? what he dislike? I felt a complete lost.... his pace of life is so fast that I hardly can catch up... he said that's his way of life... now you have me... can't you accommodate me and adjust it? I'm lagging behind... I'm not a practical person like you do... I'm a person who will be happy if you suddenly show up at my door step.... I will feel that you are sweet and love me when you suddenly get me a present that I 'want' (although I said I don't want most of the time coz I don't want he to spend). That's the reason why I will feel angry and dejected when incidents like asking him to help me change my dress during the weekend and he promise me he can. When I pass it to him, he said he cannot because he has a lot of stuff to do, etc. and will only help me on monday which in the first place he din't mention that he is that busy... all I decoded was he going to have lunch with his ex colleague and shopping after that... and since he has the time to do all those... he can be able to help me out. Even carrying a bag of clothing back home, he gave me an "excuse" that he is tired... but how tired can it be when the bag of clothes merely sits in the cab and only require his energy to carry it upstairs when reach? To me, it is those little gestures... waking up early on your off day to pop by my door step for breakfast... and not the expensive gucci bag, the expensive dinner treats....is doing the things that is not you... won't you feel happy that I will start to make effort to exercise with you likewise I will feel happy that if you will hop on the bus with me to Cameron highland which I know you drag the bus journey and the custom. It's the adventure that we share... squeeze ourselves among the crowd to watch fireworks and felt that it's romantic... cycle at ubin and get bitten by mosquito all over... posing silly in front of the camera, for memories that we can laugh at... talk about your financial world that I hardly know nuts about.... complaint and laugh about those stupid government people that you accounted... give me the signs that I will decoded as loved and protected... but I will know you will say that accept who I am now and accept how I love you.... it is the past that make me who I am now... if that's the case... will you accept that the past has make me lost all my emotion... n passion for love? I enjoy the company... with you occasionally going musuem with me... having picnic, etc... I want to do and explore more stuff with you... I felt that the relationship just stay still for very long... things start to get routine.... I don't want.... I want more now...

Getting MARRIED!!!

2008-03-26T21:54:00.003+08:00

I'm getting married... is this a JOKE? April fool day comes early eh? that was what I felt when Ah bee called me to tell me about this good news of hers. She never breathe a word when we met during CNY. And suddenly, beginning of the month she called me that she is getting married on the 30th March! Very excited for her!~!~!~ It is this moment that I suddenly felt that everyone around had grown up ... and people around me are settling down.... some already have their 1st baby... time really fly... I'm not getting any YOUNGER!~!~! AH!~!~~!~! MY Bio clock is ticking...

Grow up....

2008-02-20T20:24:00.003+08:00

Yesterday met up with my old friends of 15 years... everyone looks familiar yet felt very distance... if I didn't count back the years since Sec 1, it felt that we just graduate and have a dinner together... memories of us since to stop the day we step out of school and everyone has grown up for the past 15 years and I hardly know who are these people in front of me... don't know what to talk about...
"so what are you doing lately?", "so you have a boyfriend now?", "so when are you getting married?", these are those brief questions that we exchange... after that I'm all silence... don't know what I should ask or am interested to know... rather Bee is much closer to Ck than I do with him... despite been dated when we are young.. I hardly know who is ck now, although I also don't know how he think when we dated also... sometime I wonder if we never have part.. will he become who is he now... he use to be a very devoted and romantic lover... I remember he sending me a very hug valentine card, a big bouquet of a dozen of lilies... but when I found out that he is double crossing his girlfriend- having one night flings with girls, etc... I was shock that what he has become... despite that he is still with the girl that he left his gf of 8 years.
As for Bee, her past 2 r/s does not turn out well.. it all ended every time when they have plans for wedding... so she jokefully said that till the last few days that she is going to walk down the isle, then she will inform us or else it will be cursed again. But I know through those jokes she must have gone through a rough time letting go those r/s, hope everything is well again for her.
I felt the marriage topic is a topic that keep haunting us in our age... everyone you see will keep asking you so when you getting marry? so old liao its time to settle down already, etc... but what does age got to do with getting marry? Can't I get married at 50? And getting married does not mean a guarantee to have endless happiness in your life... so why one need to get married?

雨天

2008-02-20T19:40:00.001+08:00

I love this song very much....

28

2008-01-29T11:09:00.000+08:00

28... I'm born in January 28 and this year I'm 28!!!! ke ke ke This year starts off wonderful for me with 2 holiday trips and load of birthday wishes from my friends. Thanks to all friends for remembering my birthday!

However, what is most memorable is that I had a wonderful picnic with my best friends - Xin, U & E and of coz SJ and xin's fiance, F. Love them!~!~ and thank them for organizing such a wonderful picnic at ECP. Enjoy alot!!!

Suppose to be my birthday, but U is too excited on her birthday present that was long overdue. ke ke We got her a portable speaker for her ipod so that she can bring it to work or for holiday. I remember that she once told me she wanted to get one but felt its too expensive. *wink at U I remember okay. ke ke* Anyway, we got music entertainment to accompany us during the picnic, sunny and breeze and good food!!!!

Look at the spread of food!!! Smoked salmon, pama ham, beef, etc

Happy 28th Birthday!~!~~~! with more to come!~~!!~

Day 2 - 11Jan of Tokyo Trip

2008-01-25T13:18:00.000+08:00

We woke up at 5am (Tokyo time) to make our way to Tsukiji Central Wholesale Market which is a large wholesale maket for fish, fruit and vegetable in Central Tokyo. You can see how quiet early morning subway is. That's why we can pose infront of the entrance, etc

Tsukiji Market is one of the world largest fish market. The place is huge and one has to be very careful when going through the fish market as there are many fast moving fork lifts, mini trucks, etc, that zoom around the small narrow lanes of the fish market and they don't honk you. So has to be very very careful not to be overwhelm with the fishes there and not pay attention.

Everything there look fresh and BIG!!BIG shell fishes, oysters, clams, etc

BIG tuna
Huge & long knives to cut the tuna fish!!!
Tako Tako anyone??
The amount of polyboxes they created also BIG piles!!!! Really hope they recycle them everyday or else can you believe how bad it is for the environment!!!

After a early morning and a big walk around the fish market, our stomach is so hungry. Nothing can compared to a fresh sashimi, fresh from the fish market!!!

After a yummie sashimi breakfast, we make our way to Tokyo Disneyland!! A place that I always dream to visit. When I'm young I had a wish that I hope I can visit all the Disneyland in the world. ke ke And, Tokyo Disneyland is my FIRST after 28years.

Disneyland is a place of make-believe. Every one who comes to disneyland felt that they become a child again. As for me, I felt like the 5 lucky kids that got the precious golden ticket to enter Charlie's chocolate factory.

Yokosho TOKYO!~!~ 10Jan-14Jan

2008-01-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

Yippy!! Just back from my long over due holiday from Tokyo yesterday. But, I will be flying off in about 7 hours to BERLIN, Germany. *grim* One holiday to another!!! But I really drag the 13hours of flight.... alone and lonely.... but nvm will look forward in touching down in Berlin.... Zzzzz

Okay back to my Japan trip, will blog my Berlin experience once I get back. My "being a Japanese" lasted only 4 days in Tokyo but it has been a fulfilling but SUPER COLD. I would like to thank my lovely boss who got us FREE air tix and accommodation. *grim grim* Thank you!!~!~ I will "die" for the company!~!~

1st day - 10 Jan
Woke up at 3am in the morning to prepare myself and make my way to the airport to meet up with GK at 4am. It's my second time that I had my flight at 6AM!!! in the morning!~!~~ Super tired.... after 6 hour plus of loooooooooooooog loooooooog flight we finally touch down at Narita Airport. We buy ourselves a limo shutter bus tix and it will take us to our hotel ANA. But super ex lor, its like 3,000 Yen ($40) for a 1hour 30min ride. Before we step out, we thought that well its not so cold, so we bravely walk out of the airport door and only to turn back in immediately once we breathe the air. ke ke.

thats me and Gk waiting for the limo bus to tokyo outside the freezing Narita airport

Finally we are on the way to tokyo to our hotel, ANA intercontinental hotel at Roppongi. We are so hunger after our flight that we got ourselves, a rice ball to eat. I got myself a plum rice ball, ekkkk too sour for me....
The bus arrive our hotel much early than we expected about 1hour+ we reach our hotel. We stayed on the 30th floor. When we reach, it was a big confuse as my boss & EL checked in the day before us and has helped us check in. They took one of our keys and left it at the reception. But as there is a language barrier... despite these Japanese working in an international hotel, their English level are quite limited... can you believe I took like 5min to explain where I can do tax rebate or can i do tax rebate after spending so much, etc.... but as always Japanese never fail to be apologetic if they make a mistake. They will keep saying sorry to you and bow to you, etc

Finally, all the miscommunication has solved we manage to get our set of key to our room and we make our way to meet P & EL for dinner at Shinjuku. At the first glance, Tokyo subway are like confusing!!!! Its like a spider web spread throughout Tokyo underground. But using the subways is the most convenience way of getting around Tokyo as it practically stop at every where and you can simply walk underground in the subways to get to anywhere you want. Provided, you don't get confuse first by the many lines that run around and where you need to change from one line to another line to get to that destination which some subways lines don't stop at the place you want. okay... enough of the subway its getting me confuse to explain but trust me its EASY once you know how to read the subways map.

But of coz, first time in tokyo you trust your hotel to tell you the direction which they make us walk 950M to the subway line!!! That's me after god know how long we took to finally reach 40m to our subway line.... and Shinjuku is where we are GOING!!! When, we met P & EL they told us a faster way to get to Shinjuku that is using the Ginza line... and change another line... and it can save us all the walking....

It din't take us too long (we have abit of knowledge about Japanese) to find out how to buy ticket from the machine and make our way to Shinjuku. We reach Istean at Shinjuku and is greeted by delicious cakes and fruits on display.
Yummie!!! But guess what they are not cheap at all!!!!

Yummie looking but they are not CHEAP!!! look at how much a rock melon cost!! 15750 Yen that will be like SGD$207.90! For a melon!!! who will buy!!! After the wah!! and whooo!! in the supermarket, we finally settle down for food.

Beef stew - plain looking but nice!!!

That's the problem with traveling, you simply "won't" get tired. After a 6hour flight and 1hour bus ride, long walk down the subway, we still have the energy to make our way to Tokyo tower!!

but of coz, P wasn't very happy to travel all the way to see the tokyo tower in such a cold winter night. But majority rules!!!! ke ke

2008!!!

2008-01-03T11:43:00.000+08:00

2007 passed in a blink of an eye... and yet it felt that I had just celebrate my birthday yesterday. When my boss told me that we had been preparing for HVF for a year I thought that we just film it in the beginning of 2007 but its actually during Dec of 2006. Gosh!!! I'm getting old!~~!~ I think I will love 2008 because it has my fav. number 8 and I'm 28 this year!!! And the start of the year is wonderful:
- 1st to start of my year is a company paid trip to Tokyo!~!~! Yippy!!! So nice of my boss to pay for our air tix and accommodation.

- 2nd I might be going Berlin to attend the Hot shot Berlin Asia film fest, which our long lost baby feature film, OD has been submit to the competition and we might or might not win.

- 3rd SJ got me a camera that I always wanted!~!~! Thanks SJ!! Panasonic TZ3. What I like about this camera is, it has 10x optical zoom!!! which is 7x more than the usual camera...

and less bulky and heavy than other camera.

-4th my career has move slightly better with me working on as a Assistant Director for 2 drama series last year. Althought, I still felt that I need to work abit more on some of my short coming such as casting. But, it all come to practice and practice and widen my knowledge on the industry and the people in the industry. Will work on the area this year for the following new drama series and will widen my area of responsibilities.

- 5th As for things with SJ we still have alot of things to explore and get to know each other. We still have our occasion scrabble especially from my side. I think my insecurity about relationship tends to stress me up. I'm afraid to lost someone, yet I'm not willing to invest too much of my feeling into it, fearing that I might get hurt again... my movement in the relationship is rather slow... no idea why... but I'm just going to take it slowly at my comfortable speed... don't want to rush into it also... as our indifferences sometime are rather very different but I know we are alot more common in many areas. Really enjoy going to musuem to look at the exhibition, etc or going to play to have a good laugh. Hope there are more to come this year as we explore more with each other.

As usual, NEW YEAR need NEW resolutions. But first of all need to recap my 2007 resolution:
List of 2007 to fulfil:
1. I want to see snow this year!~!~! - Nay did not fulfill but hope to do it this year.
2. I want to see rain!~!~! - Went to his concert with my gfs at Thailand!!! Crazy things to do but its a enjoyable trip.
3. Make more new friends. - Yes I did, thats how me and SJ met.
4. Bring my friends closer to my life - Yes I did and I felt we are more closer.
5. Love myself MORE!~!~ WAHAHHAHAhhahah
6. Go for Picnic. Bring a good book, make my own sandwich and a flask of tea under the breeze morning. ke ke - Yup, had a wonderful picnic on National Day at ECP together with my gfs and SJ.

So this year what I want to fulfill is:
1. Learn roller blading... as promise to SJ
2. Learn dancing...
3. Go for more picnics!!!
4. make more friends as usual...
5. Keep my gfs closer to my life!!! *stick to U & Xin*
6. Be more feminine... and perhaps grow my hair back to length...

Okay enough of blogging. Last and not least, I pray for LORD to look after my friends and family and bless them with good health for the year!!!

Before & after

2007-12-26T15:23:00.001+08:00

BEFORE operation

AFTER operation

AFTER after all is remove

Photo before my operation!~

2007-12-26T15:00:00.000+08:00

one of my intern

The editors!!!

My boss.

Wei wei aka my AD

S.S. one of my cameraman

Gk aka my PM

I'm not a material girl!!!

2007-12-17T08:53:00.000+08:00

I don't need diamond ring, I don't need branded bags, material needs is not what I want.... I guess after so long you still don't understand me.... today just woke up feeling super shitty... knowing that you still snoozing in bed... despite you took a off day today... you could have woke up early n meet me for breakfast... instead you watch Tv till late yesterday night....... hate this feeling... don't ask me why I'm was never lovely to you... coz I can't.. I have never be able to let myself go further if you never notice that... you can just satisfy my material needs but that's not what I want... and not emotionally and spiritually needs of mine... love is not spoken by mouth... action is always louder than words... and your action says none... all you think is about yourself... meeting you only when you can and your conveniences... although most of the time I'm tired after work but whenever I can I will always meet up with you to compensate the lack of time I'm with you... but why is always me??? Today is you took leave and see what you do??

NOTHING!~!~!~

Lord I pray...

2007-11-25T13:40:00.000+08:00

It has been hardly a few month that death had come to visit the people around me... lately death is around again... not long ago SJ best friend's mother just passed away, my 6th aunty's dad just passed away... and just a few days ago my bro faces death when some stupid driver knock into him.. lucky he manage to escape death with a fractured wrist and a stitch on his leg... but my colleague's brother is not lucky... he suddenly had a heart attack and passed away... life is so so fragile... so so fragile... I guess don't take things and everyone for granted... you won't know when is the last time you will see them again...

As for my brother... he is going for his wrist operation next wednesday... guess will be a long way to recover but thanks lord for blessing him and may lord give him the strength for his recovery... I pray for everyone safety and health... amen....

Is marriage a gamble.... of happiness?

2007-11-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

Sj came across this blog in the forum and after reading her blog I admire her at the same time I pity her... What is she going to do with her child? And really hate what her husband had did to her... leaving her alone now to raise their seed of "love"... her story is one of the many stories I heard from friends, etc... and all these makes me wonder do we need to get married?

Why can't we just be together when happy and break off when you don't love each other for the rest of your life? Why want to settle down with a person? And will that person be the right one? How do you know he/she is the right one to settle down with?? These questions have always been in my mind when I see someone getting married... till now I have no answers to that... so if one day I do receive the question: "Will you marry me?" I wonder what is my reaction and response... wahhahaa

Anyway, this month and next month, two couples will walk down the red carpet and enter their new phrase of life. One will be my friend Ailing, who met her husband a year ago and guess everything is right for both of them during this one year that they decided both of them is meant for each other. Another one will be my uncle's daughter and my primary school classmate who claim that he has a crush on my during school days. Guess its a small world, wahhaha. Nevertheless, I would like to wish both couples,

Happy marriage till the end of time!~!~

Shanice is Born!~!~

2007-10-26T09:27:00.000+08:00

I remember not long ago... I was attending my gf wedding and now a new life has arrive to this world. Her name is SHANICE~!~

Look like Fen Fen?? ke ke

The window....

2007-10-26T09:19:00.000+08:00

Lately I have been filming around TB area and I realize that I keep looking at the window when I walk/drive pass there.... and everytime I will wonder whether he is at home... whether the light is on... what am i thinking.... why I keep having that feeling... the window some how haunt me....

Moon light shine bright....

2007-09-25T21:42:00.000+08:00

Today is lantern festival... and I hardly feel the festive season at all... no idea is it getting old, no longer will do silly stuff like we use to do when we were young... I remember last time a few good friends of us - B,D,E & me will gather together near our estate to eat mooncakes,drink tea, play candles and carry lanterns. Long gone the day, where you will be happy with just candles lighted around you... with just the big round moon shining down on us.... thinking back really miss those days... I remember the last time I spend mooncake festival is on the beach... someone make a huge heart made of lighted candle on the sandy beach... you can hear people lighting the sparking sticks, making the weeeeeeeeee... sound as they throw them out into the sea... now even the neighborhood is quiet... no idea is it a weekday thats why no one bother to celebrate... the last time I went to Chinese garden to see the lanterns were many years back also... guess nothing fantastic and worth to go and see also...looking out into the window the moon still shine as big and bright... but is getting quieter nowsaday...

Gary Jules Mad World

2007-09-23T21:43:00.000+08:00

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world
[Mad World lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad World
Enlarging your world
Mad World.

Life is fragile...

2007-09-11T10:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night I suddenly felt that life can be so fragile.... and many time we often take the people aroud us for granted... we always felt that nevermind, there will be always the next time... the next next time... but some time there won't be a next time again for what you know... you won't know when you will be gone... Yesterday night I went to pay my last visit to my friend's mon in the hospital... seeing her lying motionless on the bed felt like she is a baby sound a sleep... she will wake up...she is just a sleep... but she is not going to wake up no one... she is brain dead when we are there to see her yesterday night... machines are surrounding her, tubes are all over her- out from her mouth, from her hands etc; just to keep her organs alive so that they can havest them this morning... I could not hold my tears when I saw her lying on the bed... althought I hardly know her but she is my friend mother and the last time I see her which is a few months ago... she is still laove bouncing and helping my friend selling his t-shirt at timble... every things happen so fast YL said to me... on sat she is still cooking dinner with her and say she will teach her how to cook, etc and on monday morning when she is about to get to work she felt a sharp pain at the back of her neck, asked her husband to call teh ambulance, she still can talk to the medic when they arrive and on the way to the hospital she lost conscious... and since then she never woke up... twice the doctors have pronounced brain dead... I went to the hospital with a heavy heart... I din't expect this to happen at all, as I thought she will pull it through... I thought is just a minor stroke... never to expect I will be there to witness death...

Suddenly all these kicks in and I suddenly feel like rushing home and give my mum a hug and say I love her... I suddenly feel that we are taking things for granted from our family that sometime we din't realise they are so important... always felt that they are so naggy, wish they don't come and bug you, etc Is only yesterday that I felt that don't take your parent for granted... love them like they love you every day... there is only one life... and one life time to love them... once the time is up... you won't feel regreted for not loving them... I love you mum!~!~

Irrational Vs rational

2007-09-04T09:21:00.000+08:00

We have a little dispute over some petty issues for the past 2 days... it's the first time that has happened to my relationship and the first time since we are together... I have no idea why also... petty issues such as driving, understanding, etc was never an issue to me... I'm always there to open myself and communicate what I want... usually is the other half that need time to open themselves up, and I will always there by their side to tell them to communicate with me, In order for the relationship to work is to communicate in order to understand etc.. but this time round I'm totally close up in my relationship... afraid to communicate... afraid to speak my thoughts... afraid to give... afraid to know... I'm always constantly calculating my every step I move forward... only to find myself moving 3 step forward, 2 step back... I'm like a hermit crab, carrying a heavy shell on my back... the minute I see movement I run back into my shell to hide... why am I so afraid??
I'm afraid of losing again... the feeling of left alone... to die is terrible... and its because of that my thoughts are blinded by these pain that may or may not exist in the first place... why my heart feel so heavy now... like it's been chained down, bolted shut tight... Qi told me love is irrational... if it become rational you are not loving... its true I agree with her... but been irrational I had pay a big price for it... but in the first place I should not be calculative about it... its a choice of my own... I choose to love them... and no body will know where the path will led to eventually... love is something that you have to constantly take care of... in order for it to grow well and good. Those who mend it well, see the result of their labour. Although some mend it well but he/she fail to see that the condition around it fails to make it grown healthily. Why guard myself so much, when I know that whatever path it goes eventually depend on how we work together to make this love grow strong... even it fail.. no one is to blame just that one decided to take a rest and don't want to take care of it anymore... just like you only live your life once... once love pass.. it will never come back again... so why waste the energy to ponder whether to plant the seed of love in your heart, when there is someone there in front of you holding your hand together, waiting for you to garden the seed of love with him... some one who is willing to share his garden knowledge to teach and learn together with you how to mend this love...
He is in fact a very different person that I have come across my path... all of them I met are injured road passer that I came across on my path... people that I tried my best to save them, to make them understand that love is in the air and bring them together as I walk down the road... hoping that one day they will love you back just like the day I set my eyes on them when they are lying on my path... unlike him... he is there to set his arm open to welcome me into his arm.. and ask me to walk down the road together... his not afraid of the rough road ahead that may or may not exist... all he asked for is to hold on to his hand and walk together... thats why he is special than the others I have met... and I was blinded by my fear and doubts... now I am standing at the cross road... to risk or not to risk... both road led to unknown....... I think my thought is clear and I have made my decision...

Happy Birthday!~!

2007-08-29T15:24:00.000+08:00

Opps! I forget to celebrate your birthday!~!~~ Time really fly since the first day I blog in here.. it's been 3 years with 223 numbers of blog to date... What have I been blogging??? I have so much rubbish to talk about meh?? No idea and don't want to go back and look at it... for what I know it has been a 3 years of roller coaster ride... you have document my happy moment and my sad ones too... and when the day I decided to look back at you... I know I will have a good laugh at my old self... how some time one can be so foolish... in the name of LOVE...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!~!~

Aquarius love trait...

2007-08-22T20:51:00.000+08:00

Your positive traits: You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people. You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie. You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits: In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway. You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret. You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved. Your ideal partner: Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise! Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests...
including you. A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style: Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style: Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next. Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires. Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future: Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates! Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once. Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.

Best color to attract mate: Sky blue

Best day for a date: Wednesday

I want some space....

2007-08-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, I want some space of my own... I wanted my own personal space... my own quiet moment, my own time to do my own stuff and not with anyone... I suddenly felt that my own space is getting smaller... constantly been filled up with him lately and my friends... just suddenly felt cornered that when can I do the things I wanted to do?? when will he listen to what I'm talking? When will he be paying attention of how I feel at times? I wanted my OWN SPACE!~!~ Perhaps I have been alone for sometime that suddenly another person gets into my life and I'm seems lost... lost of how to balance him with my work, with my own space... suddenly he seems to occupy the whole space that I once claim is mine... no longer I can have a breathing space of my own... every one space he wanted to be in it... sometime is not that I don't want him to tag alone... just that sometime I just want to have my own space.. own moment with my friends to gossip about him, to gossip about other guys, to gossip about each other... but this space seems to get smaller.... my own private space at home is already very small... a space for me to spend quiet moment to read has to be shared with my mum fearing that if I read too late I will disturb her sleep... my private space to watch what I want, my favourite movie is near possible... with only a shared TV set in the living.... the freedom to sleep late is often followed by the constant nagging of my mum.... so where can I have my OWN SPACE- my own freedom to do what I wanted to do....

After been with him for awhile....I wonder a person who loves himself.. will he be able to see the person he loved, how she felt, listen to what she talk and understand what she is talking about.... the answer is very difficult..... sometime, I just felt that he don't listen to what I'm talking about... sometime he don't understand how I feels... what I felt is he cared about how he feels, what he wants and what he wants to talk.... nothing is more important apart from him.... even thought he says that isn't the case... but that's how I felt at times... for instance, I asked him to help me rent my book and wasn't feeling too good when he decline it, because he felt it is too rush for him to go for his gym.... I wonder what does a 15-20 min delay have on his training session??? A muscle lesser to grow out from the many other muscle he has?? Not blaming... anyway it's my book not his... not his problem, it's my problem. I have learn to be emotionally, spiritually independent from people especially to the one I love... partially I know that one day if I depend on them too much... and if everything falls... I will be left alone feeling empty... so even now... I never intend to depend on him on anything... I never know what will happen.... fallen angel meant to walk on the ground she fall... she shall not fly to heaven.. as heaven never has a place for her. God send her an angel, but she shall not be tempted... or she will be burn... I will always remember I'm a fallen angel banish from heaven...

Well, I'm not complaining because we hardly know each other, having known a few months does not necessary understand each others... we are in fact from two different social background... living in two different life previously... never knew the other party exist till we met each other one fine day... you might not even fully understand your best friend who you have know for ages,likewise someone you just know for a few months.... time is needed... and I hope in time he can understand how I feel, really listen to what I'm talking about... likewise I will get to know him more....

Today I guess is one of the days.... that I'm felt too much... the kind of day I felt that I have push to a corner to shout out loud of how I feel....PMS-ing....

Spa gateaway!~!

2007-08-20T16:34:00.000+08:00

RASA SENTOSA!!~!~

The weekend spa gateaway at Rasa sentosa was a good pit-stop for me... every thing become a stand still-just only me and him... it been a busy, tiring and not forgetting painful 3 month in the previous production and was so look forward for the weekend break. The spa is very relaxing... but I still perfer the javanese or the thai massage.. more painful, and stretch more of my tense muscles. This aroma-massage is very soft but relaxing, almost fall asleep on the warm massage bed....zzzzZZZZzz... and 1hour massage pass so FAST~!~~! Just when I was about to enjoy myself.... ke ke

We had a paranomic room that over look the sea-view.. beautiful!~!~! almost want to fall asleep when I slowly sip my glass of wine and the sea breeze... but can't because there was alot of noise coming from the beach that spoilt the mood!~!~. I think they have some sort of dinner or bazaar organised by hitachi and there are alot of indians there also!~!~~!

View from the hotel room

We also visit the underwater and the song of the sea! Really enjoy song of the sea- nice firework, fire and water display. but the song is just too crappy - "singapura, oh singapura.. sunny island set in the sea....".

Visit the underwater world... as I always have free entry when I go for recee and filming I hardly notice that the entry fee has gone up to $19.90!~! So expensive!~~! but at least they add in need exhibition such as the crab!~! I love it, look at the size and length of those legs!~!!!!

When we are there it happen to be feeding time and look at the stingray muching his fish!~!~ Nasty.... but I hope I have a chance to swim with them... I guess is every diver's dream to swim with these gentle creature of the sea.

Rain... been raining and raining since the moment I step on the island, but lucky it din't dampled my holday mood!~! ke ke ~!~ thats the reason why I like rain....rain is beautiful... its nice to walk in the rain once in awhile... the sound of rain... the smell of rain... it can be happy...

on the tram to underwater world

After the underwaterworld, we visit the fort silso.... I seldom want to go there becoz I find it errie inside those tunnels... always give those creep- the smell, the stale air... but I was surprise they did some renovation to it and add a few new exhibitions to it making it more interesting compared to the last time I visit.... hmmmm when is the last time I visit... Anyway, I still jump whenever the sound pop up... well can't help... its scary in there.... it is a place of history....

Okay... vacation is OVER!~! time to start working... soon it will get busy as the pace for the production starts.... on september.... happy to be back to office... today we went to Miao yi to eat, miss the food there!~! best vegetarian food!~! What a good start for the first day of work!

Well, I pretty afraid of how things will turn up when my shoot starts... I will totally have no time for myself, to sleep... even to say to have the strength to maintain the r/s... will it be the same as the last time- things will grow apart... distance... really don't want to think about it... I truly believe after been through so much... if the person beside you can't be supportive for your work... he can't be supportive in your life next time... he can't be supportive in anything... coz all he think is himself... and in a r/s its all about two person... and not he/me alone only...

I wish I can feel...and i'm starting to feel...

2007-08-12T10:57:00.000+08:00

Someone recently just entered my life... someone that has been hurt many times but yet none of it stop him to lose faith in love or afraid to love someone again.... Met him in a forum that I have been visiting frequently at the beginning of the year during my confinement at home. For the past months, we only chat in the forum and msn but only get to see him on one of the forum girl birthday a few months back. Since then, he has been dating me to go cycling, visit the museum, dinner, movies, etc... I didn't suspect any thing as sometime I do catch movie with one of my guy friend who like artistic film, etc and are all very close to them too. And, he has many good friends which are female too. So I thought he treat me like any other of her good friend as we have many interest that alot of people find it stupid to do - go picnic, visit the museum, etc.

So now he has entered my life... but yet I'm so afraid.. in fact more afraid than he is... although he had more past than I do... more hurt than I do... but yet he is more giving, more loving... although I know but none I can feel... so afraid to commit... so afraid to give... so afraid to love... afraid that in the end it will be all taken away from me, leaving me empty and lost again...

He is kind... never rushing... always telling me to go with the flow... don't think too much about the past- if I think I have bad experience with my past r/s, he had worst ones that haunt him for a year. Every step I take he ensure me... I'm feel like a baby taking the first step... should I follow his footstep?

We had a wonderful picnic during National day... I got a picnic basket from yahoo auction for $15 with 4 sets of plates, cups and cutleries. And, we got smoked salmon, parma ham, beef, cheese, fruits, bread... together with qi, ying, his friend-CW and we find a nice spot at ECP to enjoy the feast!! To add to the highlight is the apache and the national flag and not forgetting the firework display!~!~ Everything is perfect and nice!~!~ really want to thank him for setting up this special day....

I want to thank him for sending my dinner all the way from bedok after my long tiring work... my favorite bar chow mee!~~~~!

But I hope its not honeymoon period... I hope these moment will stay for long... I hope it won't end....

It's OVER~~!

2007-08-12T10:12:00.000+08:00

I almost can't contain my excitement that finally its OVER!~!~~ after 2 months of shitty work yesterday is the last day of the shoot... as each hour slowly tick to its last shot of the day! It has been a 'up and down' production but all I can say that I love the crew and host! Without them, I think the shoot is unbearable. Each of them bring laughter to the set... laughing our way through the painful long hour shoot and time seems to travel faster with the laughter and joy.

Now is all the tidy up of the set, returning stuff to the sponsors, etc and it will be over... going to move back to my office!~~ Working on a Ch8 drama this time round and bringing along two of my current colleagues over to help out. Yeah!~~~~!~ very excited and yet stress coz I'm going to be the 1st AD and I have no idea how many episode am I taking on. But I'm sure, no matter what its more fun than working over there than now!!!~!~

It's funny that after all is over, so little to talk about... I guess I submit to all the rubbish, stupidity of these people already... I have low tolerance for such people... and little respect... is not that I have been in this industry long enough to know every thing... just that they are those kind of the people that I will not want to learn from - the way they work, etc. For example, a 2 min. segment they shoot like 4hours of 1 & 1/2 hours of tapes!~! For god sake it is 2min only.... choosing footage is already alot to look at to shrink it down to 1 & 1/2 hours of footage... And also the incident of the cut coconut! He insist to cut the coconut and I told him that he is not going to use it due to the duration of the segment. Why waste the time of cutting the coconut which going to take forever and you only will be seeing in like 30sec and its not easy to open a coconut?

The more I talk about it the more angry I get.... suffer from gastric for days... for his stupid decision and he still blame it on me! We are late for 30min. of shoot due to some people who change the final script and not telling us or give us a new copy of the script. Even so, base on my schedule we are due to finish the shoot by 3.30pm with lunch! But instead, he says want to go for recee so we should just shoot through lunch and have a late lunch at 2pm! At first I don't agree, which I know that base on his speed... it will be very late till he finish. So since its very rush for ep6 which we need to do recee for next week, I say okay. ANd, guess what... we shoot past lunch and way PAST LUNCH till 4.30pm!~~ Without feeling bad about torturing the people who helped us, nor suggest to treat them for lunch... he come and blame on me about been late in the morning! And say he didn't approve of such a shoot schedule! @!#%^$$ him... Plus the next day, I was feeling very bad I can't go for the recee.. but I have no choice to turn up as no one can go to the recee as no one speaks mandarin in the group! And then, he still got the guts to ask me lately you burp alot, stomach alot of wind?... I simply look pass him and wanted to ignore his question - its gastric juice!~~

Okay... enough of all the complain... I believe all my friends have had enough of my whining and complaining for the past months... Thank God everything is OVER!~~ HISTORY!~~ GAME OVER!~ THE END!~~~

* p.s. I'm surprise that there are people reading my blog, apart from the usually people like yun,wei,LH,qi which I know of my blog... are you all my friends, anonymous people???

Hated the new job!

2007-07-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

Been a long time I have come in to blog.... firstly it has been a crazy two months since my trip back from BBk. I'm working on a new project with this new company. Hardly have time to finish blogging my BBK trip also. Will try my best to finish up.

The new company that I'm with has a total different work environment.... and it took me a long time to get use to it and still working hard to adjust so that I don't screw up any more things.... I don't really like the working environment:
1. I hate the reporting... every day end of the day must report what I do... and its already 7pm!~ by the time finish its already like 8pm plus to 9pm...hungry like mad... a hungry stomach is an angry woman!~! ke ke
2. hate the female boss, hate the way she talk, hate the look she gives people.
3. I don't like the quietness of the office.
4. I hate the feeling of having some one breathing down your neck every second and questioning of your ability to work.

The working style also different:
1. Having been a "princess" in my previous job which allow us to claim taxi fare when we go out for recee... here is totally different... there was once I was ask to take the train from Farrer park change station to outram station and take all the way to Aljunied then I can claim my bloody taxi fare!~!~~

2. We shoot using one camera for a DIY segment... where by I have to conti every single movement, placement of things after each take!!!! why cant they just save the money to hire so many interns and hire a 2nd camera to film all the close-up, etc rather than asking the host to repeat and repeat - 1 time for wideshot, 1 time for close-up, 1 time for handheld close-up. And, in the end after the edit, all using close-up. Why, don't they just do close-up can liao lah, don't need to repeat and REPEAT.

3. Usually, after the shoot we can go home and rest, etc but over here NO!~!~ Even I start work at bloody hell 7.30am!!! and I finish my shoot at 2pm. I still have to go back office and work till 7pm!!! And, even my call time for the next day is like 12noon, I still have to come and work at 10am!!! Which I am bloody bloody not happy about it! That was what happen last week... work my ass off till 8.300pm without dinner, reach back office and unload the things. Tired and exhausted and she insist that we come in at 10am to work the next day! which I have not had my dinner, and by the time i reach home it's like 11pm... losing all my appetite to eat my dinner.

4. I hate the way they communicate... she has the time to message me,: " Can you please ask blar blar blar to call when he/she is free?" Is like what the HELL, the person has a hp also, why can't you just message the person and tell the person??? DUH!

Enough of complain.... time please fly faster!~~!~ take me forward!~!~

Rain is coming!~!~!~! to thailand!~!~

2007-06-16T09:43:00.000+08:00

Day 1: We arrive at BBK!

Yes rain aka bi is coming to Thailand and me, G & L bought the ticket the minute we know that the thailand concert is delayed! After 3 months of long wait.... finally the day has come. Only to find myself waking up at 3am in the morning to make my way to the airport... but the day before I was so excited that I thought that it was the morning the day before, almost wanted to wake up at 3am and make my way to airport. But lucky, G called me and ask me about something. When I told her see you later in the morning she then remind me that the trip is the day after. wahahha Can you imagine I went to the airport?? wahhaha must be very pissed!!!

Yesh! we are making our way to thailand

Both me and L manage to pass throught the gate using the auto scan but poor G has something wrong with her thumb. Tried 3 times and the machine can't confirm her thumb so she has to quene up to go in. wahahahaNice sunrise!

After two hours of flight we finally reach Bangkok new airport!!! super huge airport but super confusing airport.... it seems like an endless walk from the departure gate to the immigration gate... never ending passage... not only that.. been budget means you have to walk and walk.... we even have to walk about 10 gates before we can reach our bagage lane.

G's father has a friend and we are waiting for uncle papam to fetch us to the hotel. We wiat and wait and wait..... thinking every stop car was him becoz G don't know how he look like. Only a veberal discription, short and fat... every one look fat and short in the car!

Where do I go from now... GOD will know....

2007-05-25T09:14:00.000+08:00

Its been a speedy 2 years since I joined my current company as a freelancer. I hardly felt its been two long years... to me I felt that I just joined the company a few months back. From a intern till now I am a AD, I guess I have come a long way and I can say I did matured alot. But now... it become a stand-still, after this last drama... my boss cancelled the telemovie due to the budget... technically I will be officially jobless for 5mth till oct!~!

I did went for 2 job interviews - one is a mnc advertising company and another is a small scale TVC, coperate video type of company. The MNC company is a co-ordinating job which require me to oversee the production company and my clients, so its more or less like a middle-man. But what I dont like is I have to dress up.... coz the people I will be meeting up with is CEO, manager, etc... The small scale TVC company only have 5 people plus the boss. Actually, I went for an interview last time and they wanted to hire me.. but I was hired by my current job as an intern, plus last time it was at geylang... i need to travel so far so I give it a miss.. after two years they are still hiring the same position. But they can't pay me as much as what my current job gave... he can only give me 2k n that is before CPF deduction.... Anyway, he says he will give me an answer this coming monday.

Part of me wanted to secure a job... part of me wish I have other freelance job so that I can do my october drama... If i manage to secure the job... I will ask for late entry and I will fly to sydney to look for bee and kiat. I wanted to go to aus... now is winter time... it will be so nice to relax at a park, read a book, walk bobo (kiat's dog) n it will be so much fun for 3 of us to get together. We can plan for a skiing trip, drinking trip, jacuzzi trip, etc... So much things to do... free lodging... free food.... wahhahaha... sound attractive enuff to go right!!!! And, bee keep on pestering me to go.... I'm praying hard LORD... show me the green light to paradise. ke ke

I'm tired also... its been a long hard run for me this 2 years... working from project after project... I guess my boss is right I have been working hard, its time for a rest.... a break.... to walk even longer road ahead of me. Its a road that I have choose to stay on, despite the fall... A friend once told me that all I need is reshift my focus... at first I dont believe in him... but now I know what it mean. When your focus is targeted, and you decided the road to take... your life seems to be full of it. I have decided my path, taken the choice, walking on to a a road of no return the day I packed myself for this journey. I no longer turning back, left what was left behind... walking further away to what I have left there, waiting for it to catch up with me one day prehaps....only GOD will know when the time comes.

I miss my gfs.. its been 40 days of no contact, due to my work. Miss the fun, wine, miss the voice of timmy... now i'm FREE~!~!~ Will catch up with them soon. Actually I have been expending my circle of friends.. meeting up alot of forum people and they are really fun people. But of coz some do bring trouble. There was this one outing, we went clubbing at Baby face. As usual, W n M likes to quarrel... and he got himself drunk. Well some people r drunk quiet, some people r drunk noisy and M is drunk violent!~!~~!~ N worst W is hot headed... slapped him coz she tell him not to drink so much and he wont listen. So that slap trigger his anger, broke some glasses... got drag out of the club by the bouncer... thought everytime will be over once we sent him home. But he refuse to get on the taxi, n W continue her quarrel till she wants to break up with him. In a fit of anger, he kicked 4 bikes that was parked there.... great, now the police is coming.... so is the CID (ooooooo the CID is a cute boy. ke ke). They tell him to stay still and keep quiet.. but no idea what happen, he siao again.. so no choice he was handcuffed and drag to the station... our drama is yet over... the 4 bike owners wanted compensation for the damage... i tell you all ah, a drunked strength is really very strong... some bike suffer from stratches... some cracked casing, some dent. We wanted W to come and settle this issue... instead she rush down to the station which is no use.. coz the police say they will only release him the next day when he is sober. So we r left alone to settle the 4 anger bike owners.... after all the commercial is finish... its already 6am!~~!~!~!~~!~!~!~! there goes my break.... how I spend on this stupid kid.... the music was lousy, so does the crowd... we din't drink enough, music is too suck to dance.... we should have stick to the plan of club hopping and all these won't have happen.... today I'm going to meet up with them to celebrate a girl 21st birthday... ke ke. 21st... sound like a very long time ago... ke ke

Okay enough of the updates... I have some photos taken during shoot with my friends... will update it when I get them.... when do i go from now... worry later after my Rain concert!!!!! Rain is coming!~!~

AQUARIUS WOMAN

2007-05-22T11:53:00.000+08:00

If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed. Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type. She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a dari ng type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her. Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up with someone , she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word "Love".

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guy. She loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow. She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her , let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan". Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can piss her badly. When she
is sad , be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes that. You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.

She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then you will be OK. If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of "pay Back" time. Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you. Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.

Last 2nd transformation

2007-05-03T09:26:00.000+08:00

My Last 2nd transformation and I'm done with my changes. ke ke. Out of insanity I chop my long hair that I have for 8 years ago.

Now I feel refresh - nice and short, and smart looking. ke ke Very happy with the result that cathsey did for me. Just have to wait patiently for another 3 more months and I will rid of my stupid braces- One last transformation.

深白色2人组

2007-04-10T09:37:00.000+08:00

I fall in love with this group called 深白色2人组. They have very good voice and their song is GOOD~!~!

鱼在水里哭
鱼在水里哭
我握着你的手说
鱼在水里哭
你笑着说别傻了
鱼并不会哭
它们是一种没有眼泪的动物
树在雨里哭
我抬头看着你说
树在雨里哭
你温柔看着我说
树并不会哭
它们是没有思想情感的植物
我突然的无助
没有眼泪的悲伤没有人清楚
只能呼吸着不被了解的孤独
一个人仅仅记得一切会结束
我矛盾着无助
很需要你能给我一点点保护
想对你说的话却总说不出
我变成了植物
没有人在哭
你摸着我的头说
没有人在哭
我在哭只是没有人在乎
music
我突然的无助
没有眼泪的悲伤没有人清楚
只能呼吸着不被了解的孤独
一个人仅仅记得一切会结束
我矛盾着无助
很需要你能给我一点点保护
想对你说的话却总说不出
我变成了植物
没有人在哭
你摸着我的头说
没有人在哭
http://www.video123.com/...37ssQTMZUYY892.mp3

还能不能
你后悔了你道歉了
总算死了的心又开始骚动着
以为懂了真看透了
你唤了我的名字
我却就又回头了
曾以为从此你就是她的
现在你却说你还可以是我的
但我忘不了你曾是她的
我们的世界已不再是原来的
还能不能恢复我要的幸福
还能不能回到爱情的地图
if you come back to me
我能否不去记住
你曾给的那些痛苦
还能不能承受你手指碰触
还能不能感受你怀里温度
if you come back to me
曾被你背叛的我
怎么相信你不会再让我哭
还能不能恢复我要的幸福
还能不能回到爱情的地图
if you come back to me
我能否不去记住
你曾给的那些痛苦
还能不能承受你手指碰触
还能不能感受你怀里温度
if you come back to me
曾被你背叛的我
怎么相信你不会再让我哭

http://www.video123.com/...37W6HclVk7y894.mp3

记忆森林
今夜的天空看不见星星
昨夜我还看见的 oh
为什么爱你曾经我知道
只是现在无论我怎么样都记不得
熟悉的街道习惯的陌生
想起从前的我们 oh
无声的电影一幕幕闪过
曾经快乐过的我是谁演出的角色
我无法平静
只好不断往前行
直到将你的表情忘了
要走到什么时候才能够
确定放手不再回头 oh
要痛到什么时候才回头
已经没有再见时的理由
我走在一片阴郁的森林
记忆无声地飘落 oh
所有的曾经就这样逃过
随便拼凑成一道仅仅离去的足迹
我无法平静
流过太多的伤心
直到整个人都遗弃
痛了
要走到什么时候才能够
确定放手不再回头 oh
要痛到什么时候才回头
已经没有再见时的理由
要走到什么时候才能够
确定放手不再回头 oh
要痛到什么时候才回头
已经没有任何理由

http://218.30.20.121:5699/...m/tongming07.wma

Krabi Day 4

2007-03-17T12:17:00.000+08:00

We took up a day trip to a hot spring, emeral pool and tiger cave. I woke up early and I'm greeted by Mr moon who is still awake. Shining big and bright in the blue sky.

Off we go to hot spring, This tour guide is so much better than the one we have on the first day. he speak proper english! Very good, means he can tell us more about the places we are visiting.

The water from the hot spring is warm around 40+ degree and there is hardly any fish inside, but is rather very clean and clear. We arried there after a long 1hour ride again... why is it so far away... the scenery changes from moutains to town to forest and i dosed off... ke ke

I have no idea what was I thinking when I took this picture, maybe I was amazed by the bamboo... When we reach there, there is another bus load of people about 4 of them. In this trip, we finally bump into 3 singaporeans. A couple and one guy travelling along which he look gay. But, we are irritated by this 3 angmo from the other bus. They were smoking through out the journey through the nature park to the hotsping. Spoilt the FRESH air of the place. agrh~!~!

The mineral content of the hot sping... suppose to be good for health. But it also contain mercury!!!! ah!~!~~ but the tour guide said only very small content about 0.001%

Presenting the hot spring!!

At first i thought those holes are man-made. It look like small area divided out into small bathtub. But the tour guide said it is due to many years of water abrasion to form this rock formation. When we are there, there is another group or maybe 2 groups are there dipping water. Sharp eye U found a quiet and private spot and both of us manage to enjoy a nice dip without any people invading our privacy.

...to be continue..

Krabi Day 3

2007-03-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

Day 3- 04/03/07
On day 3 we decided to go on a slower pace and be more adventerous.... we decided not to take up any tour but do touring ourselves!~!~ We try to make our way to krabi town which is 45min- 1hour away fron Ao Nang. To take a cab is around 500 babt, and public bus will be 40 babt. So its so obvious which transport did we take!!! The bus!~! At first we try to look for the bus stop....where is the hell is the bus stop and how does a bus look like? We tried to ask the people, but I guess their english not very good at all- ask the local, ask the ang mo, ask the guards, till we saw a truck that say "Ao nang to Krabi town" travelling very slowly on the road. The bus!!!! dont care we just run after it and it stop, ke ke and we board the bus and make our way to Krabi town!!

this is a bus stop...

No matter how far you travel, all flat rate 40babt!!!

After all the sightseeing... we reach krabi town.... same like malaysia.... No idea is it sunday, most shops are close. Nothing interesting there afer walking around 20min under the blazing sun. In the end we decided to settle our lunch at the KFC in their one and only shopping centre to kill the heat....i believe its 37 deg.... can die... where is the water.....

Street of Krabi town, does it remind you of malaysia?I only find the street lamps and the traffic light interesting.

Ape man, traffic light?? Innovative! ke ke

There is really nothing exciting about krabi town... if anyone going there my advise is DON'T! Again we take a slow bus ride backe to Ao nang and landed ourselves at the other side of Ao nang town- more hotels but look like budget ones and there is a MacDonald!~!

Another part of Ao Nang town. There are more budget type of hotels and alot of shop renting motobike. We were thinking to rent one... but scared we cant drive. ke ke

MacDonald is international! Everywhere you go, you will see at least one outlet. Not surprise that I can find one here. If there is KFC, there sure be a MacDonald. Sawadee Ka!~

Yummie!~! What a way to kill the heat!!

At first, when we were out looking for the bus stop, at first we thought this is the bus stop. ke ke but I think is some taxi shelter for the drivers.Mountain... sky!!

I love this bamboo street alley.And this side alley.

when you wish upon a star... I got my lucky star with me! I want to carry it home. ke ke
Long tail boats park along Ao nang beach. All back from their day trip.
Ao Nang town in the morning. We been walking this almost every night. Nothing much there, only see tourists stuff, DVD, snokeling gears, etc

Me doing the, "Ao Nang, Yeah" look.

The heat in Ao Nang cam kill! So after sight seeing, we decided to take shelter back to our hotel and chill out!

Reading corner at the 2nd floor. I like the way this photo turn out, very nice shadow.

Us at the reading corner, but where is the book??

The place we stay looks abit like houses in Monto Cardo (spell correct bo??). White wash walls, plus the clear blur sky...

The rooft top swimming pool

Yeah! I'm at "monti cardo"

A vacation to thailand is never complete without their cheap massage!. I did the thai massage and U did her manicure & padicure. Thai massage is about 500 babt, manicure & padicure is about 450 babt. Cheap cheap cheap *sound like a chipping bird*

Two satisfy customers.
Another lamp... nice. Its at the spa area.

Another day pass again... means one less day at Ao Nang...
Talk to my feet!

Caught in the act! I'm trying to steal their lamp back. Shhhh dont tell anyone....Sunset reflecting on the pool... charming.

After one "hard" day, its time for my favourite time of the day, DINNER!~ Yummie!~! So many cusine but so little time. Ao Nang has many different nationality cursine due to the fact that its frequent by Ang Mo rather than asian. So if you ask any one, they will ask you where is Krabi. I think most people know Phuket rather than here. We decided to dine at this italian rest. that we passed some many time, I get attracted by their sign,"homemake tramisu"

My fav, mussels and clam.

I think we are too happy and hungry to have our food that we forget to take picture of our main dishes. U has squad ink spagetti and I have... I have... damn forget what I have... but anyway the paste is GOOD, Oishi!!~~

Ai! Caught in the act of chomping down my mussels. Yummie, I simply love it.
Nothing is complete with a glass of wine. Btw I'm not drunk... its the heat that cause my rosy cheek. Cheerz!~!!
Baliey Tramisu. *drool*

After dinner, we walk along Ao Nang beach. At first want to walk on the beach.. but its simply too dark.. and to think of tsunami had swept pass here before.. I simply dont want to think of going near the beach during night... so after seated there for awhile and got attack my mosquitos, we hit back to our hotel for after food activity- Pool

But I guess we are very tipsy or maybe i'm the only one tipsy... cant hit any ball into the hole. One game took us like an hour to finish.. zzzzzZZzzz

I love this photo.

This is our hotel room door. Yeah, finally we are at krabi!

My table lamp. Forget to mention how shiok a can of beer can do on a hot day. After our sightseeing at Ao nang town, we brought ourselves a can of beer each, the beer there is very cheap about 200babt or less you can get one . The icy cool beer give such a cooling effect once it rush down your thoat. Ah!~!~ is all you can say after drinking. Now I know why people say beer is cooling.

Our very messy bed after the 3rd day. Guess which side i'm sleeping? If you guess is the left side, correct! U side is always neat and mine is messy. ke ke who cares, I'm on holiday! I have house keeping. ke ke

Krabi Day 2

2007-03-10T11:06:00.000+08:00

Day 2 - 03/03/07

We went out for a day trip to Hong island for kayeking and snokeling. We woke up at 7.30am to have our breafast and wait for the bus to pick us up at 8.30am. The bus is so damn small!!!! squeeze us all up with those big size ang mo, lucky the bus driver treat us very good, let us sit inside. We took about 45min-1hr to reach the other end of the krabi beach to take a long tail boat to hong island. When we reach there, we are greeted with blue sky, emerald sea but not so clean beach. Overal, breath-taking!~!~

Everywhere is blue sky, emeral sea, islands, more sky, more sea, more island... beautiful!~! Took us another 30min-45min to hong islang....

My tour guide backside

After 30-45min of boat ride... we finally reach HONG ISLAND!! The boat left us on the island for awhile for us to swim around, sun tan while they go n fetch the kayaking boats. I have no idea where they store the boat, under the sea?? ke ke

This pix looks like photoshop myself in.

The water very clean!~ And thats my new swim wear I brought together with U.

Finally, after waiting for a good 15min or so, the boats finally arrive only to realise one is missing so while everyone is in confusion... 2 pair (ang mo) row away without waiting for the guide... so they miss the lagoon!!!

The lagoon entrance

I felt it look like a pair of leg, U says it look like an elephane trunk.

Us, inside the lagoon kayeking.

For the 1st half of the island... poor U keep paddling while I'm at the back taking picture... wahhaha. Not only that, I guess we are the kiasu people, throught out the whole time we keep stopping to apply sunblock in the middle of the sea. wahhaha, thats the reason why I did not get any suntan or sun burn. wahhaha

After 2hours of paddling... we finally reach half of the island... thats call for celebration. Yeah!~!

We try to paddle under a very narrow water path. That's U infront trying to avoid the rock.

We also went paddle pass the bird's nest cave... we can see poles inside where people climb up to collect the bird's nest. Very high up... in the first place how they climb up to that hole sia... that's what called PRO!~!~

A hole in the rock... beautiful lighting

Us, half way through the island.

After this, we paddle very fast back to the starting point... hungry ah!~~~! Only to find that there is very little food for us.... some veg, fried noodle, chicken wing, rice, not forgetting pinapple and watermelon. As there is so little food... so many of us... and so many big size people... i find it very paisay to have a 2nd helping.

The snokeling part was the miserable part... took us juz a few metre away from Hong island to snokel... the snokeling equipment is badly maintain... regret not bringin mine... so I dare not snokel much... scared breath in all the germs!~!~ eeeeeeeee... the visibility is bad... hardly can see anything... so only manage to stay in the water for about 15min of less and we head to another island to rest for an hour under the sun. Feel abit disappointed as it suppose to be known for clean water... but well should have head to phi phi island... nvm another time ba... after you see the water under... what is above is not interesting any more.

On this island.. there are people living on it.. I think they are those people who collect the bird's nest up at the caves.

This is their bed.

The island is littered with "salted fishes" aka people suntaning. Mostly Ang mo... for us we hide in the shade most of the time.

I find this little girl very cute... playing with a bread plastic bag.

Everyone want to take a swing on this... very fun but very giddy...

We stayed on the island for an hour and finally we head back to Ao Nang....

Silver sea... as the sun starts to set...

crab holes... filled the whole beach.

I can't remember what we had for dinner that day.... must ask U about it sia.... Its thai food!!

2nd day of parthai for U

This is power- sour, hot, yummie!~

I try back the "hou fan" look alike. I had it when I went bangkok just that this is more tasty.

Finally that conclude the 2nd day at Krabi!~! Yippy!~!~

Queen of the sea

2007-03-08T12:13:00.000+08:00

I'm all recharge.. lucky not burn from my vacation to Krabi. Feel almost in tune with my body, mind and soul... after some soul seaching during the vacation- the quiet morning up on the rooftop.. the smell of the morning fresh air... the morning breeze on ur face... a cup of water in your hand... the breathtaking view of the sea..the chipping of the birds in the forest... and just you... you alone together with them... I like this feeling with the nature.

DAY 1 - 02/03/07
This is the first time i step into a budget airport. It is a simple warehouse looking place- very spacious, at the one corner there is Hans and a row of check-in counters. That's all. Once you checked in there is few duty-free shops around.

Us, inside the budget terminal waiting for the plane to touch down.

we took the tiger airway and its raining heavily outside...

Apart from the trip at palawan, that I took private plane to the island that I need to walk to the plane. This is my second time that I had to walk to the aircraft. Before boarding, the sky starts to pour heavily and we have to take an umbrella and walk onboard.

Finally, we are on board the plane, flying to krabi. Yeah!~!~ You can see the radient on our face. Go holiday!~!~ When we were on the plane there is this irritating Singaporean I presume, was asking a group of Ang mo about the seats. Apprently, he wanted the first row of seats, maybe because he has children and will be more convience. But the way he ask them is so rude!! He was asking is the seat taken? and the ang mo group say, " yes our friends our behind the quene" And he asked, "where? " and asked the air steweder can reserve seats.. blar blar" Ai ya, the plane is not even filled up, can sit anywhere you like, one person one row of seats also enough lah. Than we meet a singaporean guy who sit in front of us and he tries to make small conversation with us when we touch down. He flew alone to meet up with his friends and is also staying at one of An nang's hotel.
After 1hr, 40 min we reach Krabi Airport!~!~~~! See we walking on the runway, so cool. wahhaha. When we reach there it so happen that there is another air finland plane and it was a chaos at the check-out counter- everyone clog up and hard to distinguish the quening line. On the way to the hotel, I saw the beautiful red yolk sun, slowly set from the sky.... sunset... so beautiful....

Our hotel is beautiful!~!

So is our room!!! Its a 2 storey room, downstair is the bedroom and upstair is a roof top that face the sea with a bathtub... nice!~!

Bathtub at rooftop

This is the rooft top swimming pool... abit small but beautiful when the sun is setting
Reflection at the pool during sunset

The hotel has alot of interesting lightnings and here are a few of them:

This light is in the toliet

Toliet sign.

After settling down, we walked out to Ao nang town which is around 5min walk to this sweden-thai restuarant call Blue mango. It is a very hot restuarant as there is no air con inside.. the min we stepped in, i felt like we are walking inside a greenhouse. Well, i understand, we are at a beach paradise, and it will feel very gd in the morning with the breeze blowing into the restuarant.. but at night its very very hot....

I have oven-baked salmon and U has Phatya (im not sure is it spell like that) and its only 400 Bapt!~! about less than $25 So cheap cheap cheap.. and it looks like fine-dining.

I pray...

2007-02-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

I pray for two things today... one is for the recovery of a friend, and the coming arrival of a new life.

Recovery of friend:
This friend of mine, is one of my ex colleague in SH, not very close but just friend. She was hospitalise sometime back last month.. she got a bike accident. In the first place, i felt that she is asking for it, why whould one give up a husband and children to be with a fling and that guy is from malaysia, whether good or not i'm not so sure. But to runaway with a guy and leave your own children behind is unforgivable!~!~ Secondly, how can one be driving a bike an listening to MP3 plus falling asleep while you drive??? That's how she got into the accident... leaving her disfigured and a broken arm.... Now, I heard bad news... she may lost that arm because it can't recover and its infected... Now I started to feel pity for her... Is God giving her too much of a punishment? Not giving her a chance to turn over a new leaf? God please have mercy on her... I pray for her recovery, pray for her strength to carrying on living.

Coming arrival of a new life:
I recieve a good news from Dar dar, his wife is pregnant. I remember visiting a month ago at his pub asking him when I'm going to be God mum, complaining that all my friends why married till now no children one!~! He say of coz not now lah, have to wait till 2 years to prove that they din't get married because of baby. Wahahha I say rubbish and ask him to quickly produce one for me to hug. ke ke Now I hear good news!~!~!~~ She is 4 week pregnant!~!~! ke ke so happy.. Life appear in their special way. ke ke

Some pixs I took with my god bro during Chinese new yr with my dress!~!~ So unlike of me. ke ke. some how i felt my face is weird....

2007 first step...

2007-02-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

Here is my new face after the swell has gone down. No difference right? ke ke Visted Dr Tan and he was very happy with the result. Of coz lah, he better be!!!! but of coz he said that I hav eto wait for another 6 months before everything is done. I will wait!~!~

Okay 2007 has passed 2 months and I'm actually quite proud of myself as I have start to fulfil my resolution:
1. To read paper daily
2. change my wardrobe... which recently i bought a few blouses and a piece of dress that no one will believe its my taste. ke ke
3. Always put makeup when going out. Yes, I have develop a habit of drawing my eyes before going out or else I feel uneasy.
4. Planning to go away for my 1st dive trip... which im not sure I can or not. Regardless, I have get approval from my boss to go away for my holiday at krabi during march so I can do other activities apart from diving, snokling, hiking, etc.
5. I will be doing my 1st AD for two episodes for the upcoming MSN3 shoot that is starting this march. ke ke... wish me luck
6. I'm able to do things alone myself- watched my first movie alone at the cinema.

List of 2007 to fulfil:
1. I want to see snow this year!~!~!
2. I want to see rain!~!~!
3. Make more new friends
4. Bring my friends closer to my life
5. Love myself MORE!~!~ WAHAHHAHAhhahah
6. Go for Picnic. Bring a good book, make my own sandwich and a flask of tea under the breeze morning. ke ke

Hmm.... at this present moment that's about all in my mind....

1st movie alone....Happy birthday

2007-01-29T20:29:00.000+08:00

I alway wanted to do it, but each time I never take the first step. Today, I finally did it, I watched the 1st movie by myself in a movie theatre. There were only 5 pairs of people in the theatre, very empty for a weekday- no wonder they want to increase movie price tix. I think the most busy time will be during weekend.

Happy Birthday
It looks almost as an oath, Mimi (Rene Liu) would receive an e-mail from Nam (Louis Koo) every birthday, a guy that she never forget. But the e-mail is delayed 42 hours this time.

Nam and Mimi once were lovers when they were University students. Mimi was afraid of losing Nam, therefore she suggested being “soul mate” with him instead. Eventually, they separated when Nam went abroad for studying. Nam has got many girlfriends but none of them could keep in good and long relationship, because his heart was stick on Mimi. Of course Mimi knew that and she couldn’t leave Nam alone too. But Mimi strongly believed that not to acquire each other is the only way to keep romantic relationship forever and ever.

One day, Nam told Mimi that he was getting married. From then on, Mimi would receive a birthday greeting from Nam every year. It was just like a clue to prove that love still exists between them. Only Mimi’s friend knew that the greetings were not sent by Nam…

Thoughts:
Before, I went to watch this movie, I have read the synposis and I know its going to be a very typical love story- Both love each other however, someone is going to die in the show to make this love story a romantic one. As expected , it turn out this way. Nevertheless, I cried and I look like a little mouse with a pink nose. Ke ke

It wasn't so bad watching movie alone, just like renting a DVD to watch at home but the theatre is a bigger TV with better sound and ambience.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ALSO!~!~

Thanks for all the blessing I recieve during my birthday. Really happy that my friends remember my birthday. Feel abit down, as this is the first time I never get to eat cake on my birthday nor get to eat good food because of my operation. Bohhoo!~!~ Nevermind, I will wait.... ke ke

Recovery=Discovery

2007-01-22T19:07:00.000+08:00

I thought maybe after talking through my mind, I don't have to blog this feeling but I guess... ever since I'm so use to blogging in here... I feel much more better after writing it out or else they keep HAUNTING me. wahahhaha Now I know why blogging is addictive...

1st discovery:
FEAR: that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid

That is what I feel like blogging... everyone fear for something but if the things is normal- what occur everyday would you fear? e.g if waking up is not a norm, will you fear to wake up? if eating through the mouth is not a norm will you fear to eat?

Before the operation, I remember fearing... before I went to australia alone... I remember fearing... These two moments of my life make me finally understand what is it that I'm looking for... like everyone I fear before trying and holding on to someone make this fear less visible. But when there is no one to hold on to you, you fear that you will drop down and die? I find that in fact thats not the case which one fear it will be, rather there is nothing in front that needs to be afraid. I fear that the moment I woke up from my operation, I fear to be alone feeling the pain, been miserable, there will be no one to comfort you, etc. So I gave myself a test, that is try to feel the people around me, be it the nurse, the doctor, etc they are people who care. And, surprisingly, I don't really feel pain nor miserable but rather happy. If you are afraid of injection, try shifting your fear of pain and surprisingly your body reacts to nothing.

Hmm..... what am i trying to talk about? actually after so long I also have no idea.. just some random thoughts that I feel like blogging... IGNORE IT... now this blog don't make any sense after re-reading... but since I have talk so much rubbish might as well don't delete it lah.

Back from the plastic factory!~!

2007-01-21T10:56:00.000+08:00

Yes! I'm well and back from the hospital! Nothing major had change- was afraid that I have to operate alot of area... in the end she only did the lower jaw and a chin push out. ke ke and I was already alive and kicking the next day at the HD ward making all the nurse laughing.

17/01/07
I could not remember I was nervous, afraid or what... to be walking into the operation theatre by myself, sitting at the sofa waiting for my turn to walk onto the operating table. Can you imagine walking towards the table, climb onto the table myself? From the moment, I step into the operating theatre is like i'm out of my body, feeling nothing... super calm... talking joke with the doctors who attended to be... oh man, speaking about doctor, he poke me twice... first he can't find the stupid vein after poking the needle in and he has to pull out and find another spot and poke me again. You think not pain ah!!! I'm skinny mah, of coz my veins are fine!

That's all I can remember... the next moment I remember I was struggling as I woke up from my sleep ... and the next momemt I was been wheel around... and the next moment my mum came.. and the next moment I was alone lying in bed at the HD ward. Could not sleep the whole night, walking every 30min of so, thinking time has pass very fast... all I can do is lie there and pee, occassionally nurses come and disturb me checking my pressure, giving me injection. This went on from 7pm timm 6am the next day.

18/01/07
The next day I was well alert. Of coz, after sleeping for so long who won't be! I was already trying to talk (write) but I can't talk as my teeth are all tied up leaving only gaps for me to suck liquid. I was afraid before the operation as the surgeon say I will be miserable, swollen, etc but now I understand a happy person recovers faster. That's what happen, I don't seems to be affected by the operation, partially there is no pain... just discomforted. When I was wheel to the normal ward I was trying to move around. Actually, I can be discard on the next day but because I started to have allergy to all the antibiotic that they gave me giving me rashes all over my body that I have no choice to stay for another night.

Local hospital:
1. They are understaff.. why I say that because it took them bloody long to answer a buzz and sometime I felt they ignore it.

2. They also are less passionate about their job, they can't be bother whether the patients had taken their food before giving them medicine. I thought you should at least fill your stomach before taking any medicine or else your stomach can't take it. If young people like us can't, how can those sick old people? An old lady that stay opposite me went into ICU, I felt partially is the nurses fault. The old lady did not eat and they can't be bothered, keep feeding her medicine. The family members are worried sick. But of coz, I felt they are also a bunch of unfilial children as they can only complain, get fustracted with her not eating, etc. They don't even know how to carry her up or even bother to use just a bit of patient to trick her to eat, etc. All I know the old lady went into some complication throughout the night and the next morning, I heard she was in ICU.

3. Stupid nurse that insist that I draw up the curtain as she need to constantly come and check on my blood pressure. For god seek! Is pulling away a curtain so difficult? How can I possibly sleep with all the lights keep switching on and off?? Yes, I know this is a hospital but I think I desire to have my own private space right?

4. Nurses that can't speak the language. What is the possible of stating what language you are speaking when the nurses can only speak abit of that language. Most nurses are malays, althought they can understand and speak alittle of the dialet but I guess its quite limited to those hard to hear old people. I can't stand those Mainland china nurse... can't understand what they are talking about when they speak english.... was so scared they issue wrong medicine to the wrong person.

Okay enough of complaints of the hospital. Here is the picture of me after operation:

3rd day after the operation (back and home)

4th day after the opeartion

A tattoo... worth remembering....

2007-01-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

I watched miami ink and have a desire to get a tattoo... a tattoo means alot of things... is not about just putting a picture on to your skin but rather each and every one of it has a meaning, a story behind each tattoo, a reason of wanting that tattoo on your. For me I wanted to remind myself- I am not meant to fly, as I shed my broken wings now, it shall never grow back... i'm a fallen angel

Don't it look good on me?

Am I'm asking too much for what I have bargain for....

2007-01-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

11 days to my opearation day and my surgeon is yet to decide on how to do my case.... waited for 1hour before I get to see her. I really don't know what is the purpose of making appointment when one has to wait for so long for their consultation... and after waited for so long, only to waited even for another 15min as they did don't get the teeth mould that she left it in the lab... and not even that I only get to hear her talk like 10min and I'm off with my x-ray and ask to be back next week to get another two sets of mould for her to do her pre-surgery test again... ah!~! Its driving me crazy.... I did not know that my jaw bone has such a defact... its kind of shorter and angular and because of that she can't decide which is which.. to sacrifice my nose or what... ah!!~ will my nose gets bigger?? I don't want a bigger nose... all I want is to get rid of my ugly sharp chin and now I'm really doubt my decision for opting to do the surgery.... am I asking too much for what I have bargain for????

Rain....No 200 entry... 2007....

2006-12-28T13:40:00.000+08:00

Its winter in Singapore.. I love the weather but I detest the wettness that come with the coldness that I love... For many days it had either be raining non-stop for at least 2 days in a row... or the sky is groomy in grey. It fit the chritsmas mood, althought there is no snow in singapore, but the rain looks like snow flakes just that its wet!

Thanks girls for the christmas night at Timbre, enjoy the night and its my first time spending christmas with friends that I truely want to spend with and not because I have to be there for a friend birthday. However, I don't mean that I don't like to be at my friend birthday.... just that I don't like who I saw in her birthday...

Another 3 more days and it end of 2006, and this entry has been mine 200 entries for the past 2 years (din't knew that I wrote so much)... if I really have to read through it I can say that for 2 years I have not been happy or should I say truely happy... prehaps 10% out of 90%.

I had promised myself 2007 is going to be my rebirth- not only that I'm getting a new face, its going to be a new me. Like a angel trying to spread its wing, I decided to shed that torn wing which still attached to my back and grow up. Its time to walk this big step of my life, I decide to GROW UP- change my lifestyle, change MYSELF, change EVERYTHING. So much things to catch up now, when one stop growing...

Okay! what have I recieve on christmas? Thanks for the blessing that Unice brought it back from Japan, the photo frame from xin, cosmetic bag from Gk, and wind chime that reminds me of all the night that I spend woth gayle. And, what I gave myself for christmas!~!~ I spent $300 on myself and brought only 2 things: a Ax belt- glitter glitter!~!~ and a blouse designed by a japanese designer for puma called Yashuhiro miharu. The min. I saw that blouse is love at first sight, madly wanted after I tried it on.... they say they only have one piece per size (no idea is it true or not) but who cares, I got to have it!!!~!~!~ I always believe spending money is the most happiest thing to do. wahaha that day I'm really happy to get something I like but of coz burn a big hole this festive season.... boohohhho... all pocketmoney have to cut cut cut!!!! Went to Gucci and saw one bag that I wanted to get also $1330!! Very ex ah, my mum ask me to ask my uncle daughter to help me go europe and buy, maybe can think about it ba... need to save money mummy, I want to go for my holiday again... shhhhhhhhhh dont tell her I'm diving again. Next stop, krabi at Thailand. ke ke but of coz that will be in April!!! Someone please turn the clock faster!!~!~ ke ke

Yesterday went KTV and this is the first time that I brought Kids along!!~!~ Promise a few kids that i will bring them out for fun because one of them is going away to Aus for good. So I told gayle that we bring to watch a movie, thats what limited stuff kids can do sia, but in the end we brought them to KTV. No idea was it a mistake of what but in the end we had so much fun as one of the kid is TONE DEATH@@~!~!~ No matter how we teach him, he still cant sing. We have a good laugh watching the kids sing and dance. ke ke after the kids went home, left us the adult continue singing and we kept singing till4am in the morning.... thoat pain lah... never have I sang so much english song in my entire ktv session.

The date has set....

2006-12-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

17 January 2007 is the start of my transformation.... going to look super super ugly for at least 2weeks (I won't be able to eat much only liqure diet) and 3rd week prehaps the swell will go down much more and I can go out of the house....

3 parts of my jaw will be operate on:
1. lower jaw bone will be broken to shift it in... and because of my STUPID dentist that shifted too much of my lower jaw out... which I'm super pissed!!!
2. I have to shift out my upper jaw to compensate...
3. plus my acute chin bone... looking at the x-ray its almost like 45degree outward... she has to remove one more teeth to shift it back in... she is still thinking to opt out this surgery if possible... *pray hard* hope she opt this 3rd surgery out... lesser pain to go through.

Total time spend: at least 5hours in the operation table... 4 days in ward... 1 month of MC... 3 months to heal!!!

At the back of my mind... I start to regret... why in the first place did I say YES!!!! Reason: I always hated my chin...its too sharp and always people laugh at it like a witch chin.... so after this operation from an almond face.. I will get a slightly rounded face.... but I have to give and take... the doc say my nose will be slighly stretch!! what does stretch means...... hope it will look positive.

I will post up my photo before my opeartion... and after recovery....wish me luck!~~

Today.. I woke up gasping for air... I dream of T... althought I can't remember what is it.. but I know is something unpleasant... my heart was heavy, in fact the whole day I was trying to lighten up my mood by going shopping and buying gifts for friends. Got Gk a wrist band which one day I went shopping with her and she wanted to get one but was out of stock, got gayle a pen that I got a landyard to tie it up so that she can bring out for shoot and wont lost it, got a namecard holder for gift exchange, got nails colors for unice that comes with those nail buffer which I remember she wanted to get also, and a lipbum for xin. For me, I got myself a 2000 rosechan which I have hard time arranging the person to send it to me!!!!! damn it! I'm suppose to recieve it as a christmas present lor! Despite all these, I'm trying my best............

Get to know this person online and have been chatting lately with him... he has a dying cousin and she is only 12 years old.... very sad to hear that (be it true or not)... she told him that she still have a lot of things that she wanted to do... I guess no one really know when is going to be their last day alive... but I guess many of us still thinks that life is still long ahead of us, many things can wait... prehaps today is going to you last day, will you regret that there is still many things you yet to say, do or done? Wanted to call A to wish him a happy 30th birthday... but I have forgotten his number... happy birthday... and may you be happy...

Lost in time....

2006-12-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Time passed in a blink of an eye and I hardly notice it.... PG ended 3months ago and I felt it was last month till XX came down to singapore for the SA told me it has been 3months since she left. Yesterday, my friends told me its the last weekend before christmas and asked me wanted to do midnight shopping? Only then that I realise christmas is next week and soon 2006 is coming to an end.... I remember during the same period last year, I was just an intern doing the BYT...now I'm the LP for the second season of BYT.... this whole year what have I done? I seriously can't remember... but for what I know... it did pass away very fast without me feeling abit of drag... I have been running and running non-stop for this whole year... been throught alot, lost alot of things along the way, including myself.... but till now I hardly have the time to stop to find it back... why only when I'm in here I will felt the tiredness that has been building inside me... feel so much as to cry out loud... is there any one out there that who can save me.... is there any where I can rest my tired feet down...
I have met the surgeon... and will only know what she will be doing to me next week... felt scared... but no one seems to have time to accompany me... asked mum but she told me she will be busy as it going to be the last week before closing... she told me to ask my uncle to go with me... but I do not want to bother him about this... I will learn to be strong, I will face this journey myself.....
Chirstmas is coming and I hated it... althought I have been humming christmas song... but deep down I hate it... I think I will just grab a few dvds and cook myself a nice dinner, switch off my mobile and be with myself... I just want to be alone this christmas.... do not want to know that its christmas and why I hated it... never in my 10 years I had enjoyed my christmas... this year is no exception also...

Evanescence, always my fav band....

2006-12-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

Lithium....

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh but God I want to let it go.

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.

Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh but God I want to let it go.

The Only One

When they all come crashing down, midflight,
You know you're not the only one.
When they're so alone they find a back door out of life.
You know you're not the only one.

We're all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing.
Heaven shine a light down on me.

So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized.
You know you're not the only one that never understood this life.
And you're right, I don't deserve you but you know I'm not the only one.

We're all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing.
Heaven shine a light down on me.

Don't look down,
Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you.
Don't look down, you'll fall down,
You'll become their sacrifice.

Right or wrong.
Can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you.
If I can't feel, I'm not mine,
I'm not real.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing,
Heaven shine a light down on me

All That I'm Living For

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.

I can feel the night beginning.
Separate me from the living.
Understanding me,
After all I've seen.
Piecing every thought together,
Find the words to make me better.
If I only knew how to pull myself apart.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

I believe that dreams are sacred.
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby,
Like a reason why,
Like a play of my obsessions,
Make me understand the lesson,
So I'll find myself,
So I won't be lost again.

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Guess I thought I'd have to change the world to make you see me,
To be the one.
I could have run forever,
But how for would I have come
Without mourning your love?

All that I'm living for,
All that I'm dying for,
All that I can't ignore alone at night.
All that I'm wanted for,
Although I wanted more.
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me.

Should it hurt to love you?
Should I feel like I do?
Should I lock the last open door,
My ghosts are gaining on me.

God Bless Her

2006-12-09T23:31:00.000+08:00

Saw the wedding photo of one my ex colleague, finally she is married!~!~ God bless this beautiful couple. Her photographer is great, beautiful picture he/she had taken- simple, yet beautifully composite. Plus, her new set of teeth, sure worth the money she spend. I can't wait for mine to be done also.

Going to see the dental surgene this coming tuesday but I guess I have to call to change the appointment as I was called to assist my director on the HD pickup shoot. Actually, part of me is excited to meet the dental surgene, well since I have come this far after a year ago when I decided to do my braces. Part of me i'm scared.... sacred of the after pain... scared of the hospital... scared to being alone. Called my mum that day once I know my appointment to check she is free to accompany me on that day. Ke ke, my mum always so funny. She asked is it i'm scared. Well I said, Not really just need a company in case the doctor scares me. ke ke. And she said, I think you are the one who is more likely to scare the doctor. Ke ke. I guess there is nothing to fear anyway, ke ke. I always believe life and death is all fated.

Was in the office in the afternoon and we are all discussing about our dive trip next year, april. My friends are going up the cebu during february and was showing us the place they will be staying. The forgetful of me, decided to show them the beautiful palawan I had been... stir some emotion out of me... J said that its so ex and asked me where the hell I got that money to go. I said, was from my ex bf of mine. J said such a nice guy to really spend that amount of money, should have stayed. I said, he is a piece of jerk.... jerk or not no longer matters, as most memory was either faded away or lock behind... suddenly all these makes me put a stop... have I been working so hard with all these projects on hand that most part of me is no longer me? I think I am.... for the past few months I have been living in a dream world, making magic out of the black box... the power to create overwhelm me... I love that power as each time I improve a little, and each time people appreciate the things I created, and seeing it on tv makes it even more happier.... that sometime I have no idea what kind of life am I living? Have not seen any of my friends for weeks, except my colleagues. Colleague become the main part of my life, day and night we see each other- having lunch, having dinner, even massage... I want a break, once u jam break in this journey, one will just feel exhausted..... looking forward to January... a break?

Rain!~!~

2006-12-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

Recently, i'm abit craze about RAIN aka BI. Partially he is coming to singapore for his world tour!~! Ah!~~ but his concert is a mega killer the cheapest is $188!!! *faint* but look at his body, his dance *faint faint* especially his body, its a killer!~! ah!~!~ selling point his body... women always have a soft spot for lean body!~~! ke ke I wish I have that extra money to go and see him!~!~ Ah!~!~~!~~~ *faint faint* Did anyone notice that I keep talking about his body?? Hahahah I'm just attracted to his body nia!~!~ wahhahaha

Recently gayle asked me what type of guy I like... ke ke ... 1st type: guy with body... thats why I got so attracted by AP's body... he has the body that I wanted my man to have...a body that fit the clothes I like my man to wear...everytime when I saw AP and the way he dress, oh man it brighten up my day just to see him and not forgetting he is a humble man sia... always a pleasure to work with him, thanking us every time after the shoot, showing genuie concern about you... ke ke but well God is fair, you can't have all the beauty of all, great body but ugly face.... ke ke 2nd type: guy with fang teeth and i'm talking about two fangs... which one of my cameraman SS has it.. ke ke no idea why those set of teeth attract me also... remind me of vampires... ke ke